


To Win the War

by Katef



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sentinels and Guides Are Known, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dubious Consent, M/M, Sentinel/Guide Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 13:32:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7620001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katef/pseuds/Katef
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to 'For Want of a Guide'.<br/>Jim and Blair's initial meeting was traumatic to say the least.  What was the likelihood of them ever achieving some sort of workable relationship?  The story continues....</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Win the War

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't sure how well my story 'For Want of a Guide' would be received, so I chose to finish it at what I considered to be an appropriate point. However, after receiving some very encouraging feedback, I decided to continue the tale. This is very much a 'what happened next' story, and I hope it doesn't disappoint.
> 
> K x

**Introduction: An Inauspicious Beginning:**

Dr Blair Sandburg, newest – and youngest – adjunct Professor of Anthropology at Rainier University, and recently bonded Guide to Sentinel Detective Jim Ellison eyed his reflection critically in the bathroom mirror. Although never normally vain, today had the potential to be difficult – possibly even traumatic – so he didn’t want to unwittingly provide any more fuel for derision than necessary. Because today would be his first at Cascade Central PD’s Major Crimes Unit as official Guide and working partner to Detective Ellison; the Sentinel who had forcibly changed Blair’s life and prospects forever. 

_No!_ he told himself firmly, clamping down on that train of thought. _What’s done is done, so suck it up. This is your life now, Blair, baby, so it’s up to you to make what you can of it._

Concentrating on his appearance again, he nodded tightly to himself, satisfied that it was good as it was going to get. He had tamed his long curls, pulling them into a tight ponytail at his nape, and had abandoned his favourite comfy flannel for a more formal collarless button through shirt in a rich, royal blue. He still wore jeans, but they were his best pair, and he had made an effort to clean his newest hiking boots for the occasion. All it needed was the addition of his one decent sport coat, and he reckoned he was good to go. He fleetingly considered removing the two small, gold hoops that adorned his pierced left ear, but decided to leave them where they were in a small act of defiance. He had lost too much of himself already over the last few weeks, and he had no intention of letting go of any more of the essential Blair Sandburg. 

With a sigh, he briefly recalled the last time he had cause to take such care over his appearance. What a day that had turned out to be! It was the day when he had successfully defended his doctoral dissertation, only to have his future reduced to ruins after being stalked and raped by a feral Sentinel. The same Sentinel he was about to meet up with at the PD. 

As an expert in Sentinel and Guide lore, intellectually he knew that it hadn’t all been Ellison’s fault, as the primal Sentinel had been functioning on pure, animal instinct at the time, but that didn’t help Blair any, and real forgiveness was a far distant possibility as yet. But they needed one another in order to survive, so were forced to make the best of the situation as they could. But that didn’t include Blair moving into Ellison’s territory, even if the Sentinel dearly wished it were possible. 

Oh no, Blair had no intention of putting himself in such a vulnerable position, so instead shared an apartment with his old friend, Marcus Reading. 

Smiling wryly, Blair glanced around the untidy bathroom, wondering how long he would be able to stay here. Probably not too much longer, he decided, because he had never had what you could call a real home. As a child he had been constantly on the move as his single mom travelled the world, and even when he had put down roots at Rainier, he had only ever been able to afford cheap, temporary accommodation. This apartment was certainly a great improvement on his previous digs, but he wasn’t sure how much longer he and Marcus could tap dance around each other. This was because Marcus was deeply, and openly, in love – or lust - with Blair, and the feeling wasn’t mutual. 

Although good friends, Blair didn’t think it fair to put such pressure on his lovelorn roomie by his continued presence, even though Marcus insisted that he was happy to take what he could get by way of simple companionship. 

Immediately after Blair’s attack, he had moved in with his friend and mentor, Dr Eli Stoddard, but he had moved out as soon as he had been offered an alternative. He had certainly appreciated the older man’s generosity, but he knew that Eli was a confirmed bachelor who enjoyed his own company, so Blair refused to impose himself on his old friend for any longer than necessary. Marcus’ offer wasn’t the best solution for either of them, but Blair accepted gratefully, if reluctantly anyway, secretly determined to find somewhere else as soon as he could before he wore out his welcome. It was a compromise, in a life that was now full of compromises, but once again, Blair almost reconsidered his decision to leave as he exited the bathroom to be greeted by Marcus’ cheerful grin and friendly comment. 

“Hey, babe, you look good enough to eat! You’re going to knock ‘em dead at the PD, Blair.” 

“Yeah, well, you always say that,” Blair responded with a smirk. “You’re biased, Marcus. Admit it!” and he patted his roomie’s shoulder amicably as he passed. 

“Well, of course I am,” the older man replied quickly, turning to follow Blair, “but that doesn’t make it any less true. You’re gorgeous, hon, and everyone can see it but you!” 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever!” Blair snickered, his mood considerably lightened by the exchange. 

“Look, I’d better be going, Marc. It won’t do to be late on my first day. Wish me luck!” 

“You got it, hon. Take care now…” and the real affection and concern in Marcus’ voice warmed Blair’s soul. 

“Will do, man. See you tonight!” and he left the apartment before he could be tempted to delay the inevitable any longer.  


\---------------------------  


**Captain Banks’ Office, Major Crimes Unit, Cascade Central PD:**  


Seated comfortably across the desk from his captain, Jim toyed restlessly with a cup of cooling coffee as he carefully extended his hearing. He knew Simon was watching him, openly concerned for his subordinate as said subordinate concentrated on filtering out all unnecessary sounds. Undoubtedly, the older man was worried in case Jim should push himself too far and zone, but the Sentinel had no intention of doing any such thing. All he wanted was to locate the person who had become the unwilling centre of his universe. His bonded Guide, Dr Blair Sandburg. 

“Jim. _Jim!”_ Simon’s sharp tone cut through his concentration, causing him to wince in discomfort. Immediately contrite, but unapologetic despite his choice of words, Simon lowered his voice as he continued. “Sorry, Jim, but I thought you were drifting away there. I hate it when you start zoning without Sandburg around to do something about it. So, has he arrived yet? I mean, that’s what you were doing, wasn’t it? Listening out for him?” 

“Yeah. Yes, I was, Simon. I guess I’m nervous in case he’s changed his mind. I mean, I could hardly blame him if he did, but I believe him when he says he wants this arrangement to work. It’s just so hard knowing what he’s going to have to face up to as my partner. He’s had to put up with so much already, and it’s all down to me.” 

“Stop it with the guilt trip thing, Ellison! I know you have cause, but I’m equally sure Sandburg won’t thank you for continually moping around as if all the evils in the world were down to you and you alone. Yes, you made a big mistake, but that boy has done his best to make the most of an impossible situation, so the least you can do is help him out. And you can’t do that while you’re wallowing in guilt-ridden misery. It’s not always about you, Jim!” 

Straightening his shoulders, Jim grinned ruefully at the older man. “Thanks, sir! You always did tell it like it is. I’ll try to do better, OK?” 

“You do that, Detective!” responded Simon tartly, but with a relieved twinkle in his eyes. 

“So, I assume the senses are all still working OK, even though you haven’t connected with your Guide yet today?” 

“Yeah, all OK so far, sir. I met with Blair at the Sentinel and Guide Unit yesterday afternoon for our scheduled session, and the link was enough to settle us both. Having said that,” he continued, a slight frown now creasing his brow, “I think it works better for me than for Blair. I mean, he has been really good about providing me with small items of his that I can use to ground my senses in between meetings, but he doesn’t have the same sort of physical aids to call upon. I think he’s taking meds to tide him over rather than increasing the frequency of our linking sessions. And again, I can’t blame him, but I wish he wasn’t still so skittish. I promised I wouldn’t do more than touch him platonically and link with him in the presence of one of the Unit’s personnel, but obviously he still doesn’t trust me. And neither of us even attempts to get in each other’s heads, even though I’ve told him I’m happy for him to ‘read’ me as much as he wants. Guess he’s just being scrupulously honest. If he won’t let me in, he doesn’t see why he should abuse the privilege and start poking around in my thoughts just because he can. It’s an emotional link, pure and simple, just enough to strengthen his shields. 

“The trouble is,” he continued sadly, “although it’s hopefully going to be enough for us to create a solid working relationship, we’re never going to realise our true potential without repeating the full physical and spiritual merge, and on a fairly regular basis at that. But I’ll take what I can get, and it should be of significant benefit to MCU, after all.” 

“And that’s how we’ll play it for now,” Simon answered decisively. “I’m just grateful to still have my friend and Sentinel Detective in working order, and I intend to do my utmost to help Blair keep you that way. Tame pit bulls are hard to find, and even harder to train!” 

Suddenly, he realised that Jim’s attention had drifted away, and he grinned sardonically as he watched Ellison’s head tilt in a ‘listening’ pose as his friend’s expression softened noticeably. Undoubtedly, his Guide was in the building, and the Sentinel was good to go.  


\---------------------------------  


Blair paused for a moment on the sidewalk in front of the Cascade Central PD building, taking a few minutes to settle himself before entering. He had taken the bus that morning, not knowing what the parking situation was like downtown, and being well-acquainted with the vagaries of Cascade’s Public Transport systems. This morning, thankfully, he was only a minute or two late for his first official meeting with Jim, and he was working hard at calming his jittery nerves. He knew only too well that there was nothing more likely to trigger a case of feral Sentinel possessiveness than distress in the Guide, so he breathed deeply and steadily, murmuring his favourite mantra. _I am calm; I am relaxed. I am calm; I am at peace with myself._

Except that he wasn’t, really, and he knew that Jim would undoubtedly be tracking his progress through the building. So with another deep breath, he pushed open the main doors and crossed the foyer to the Reception Desk, concentrating on keeping his demeanour cool and collected even if his heart was hammering in his chest. 

“If you can hear me, Big Guy, I’m fine, OK? No problem. Just a bit nervous, OK? See you in a few,” he murmured _sotto voce,_ in an attempt to placate and reassure his Sentinel. 

Reaching the desk, he smiled politely up at the Duty Sergeant, introducing himself and explaining that he was expected at Major Crimes. 

As luck would have it, Sergeant Murphy was one of the old school, disposed to be courteous to all and sundry, even if they looked suspicious. He and Blair were soon on friendly terms, both recognising good people when they met them. Blair was soon signed in and presented with his temporary visitor’s badge, and with a word of thanks and a genial grin, he crossed to the bank of elevators, pushing the button for the sixth floor where his future awaited him.  


\--------------------------------------  


Up in Simon’s office, Jim relaxed again in his seat, turning to grin wryly at his boss. In response to Simon’s quizzical look, he chuckled, “Everything’s OK, sir. Blair’s on his way up, and he says he’s fine. Murphy down in Reception has taken good care of him, and his nervousness is only to be expected under the circumstances. And here he is,” he added, as they both looked over towards the bullpen doors, which swung open to reveal Blair’s slender, compact frame as he paused just within the large, busy room, a slightly lost expression flitting across his mobile features as he gazed around him. 

Not wishing to leave him standing there no doubt feeling increasingly out of place and uncomfortable, Simon rose quickly to his feet and stuck his head around his office door. 

“Dr Sandburg! Good to see you. Come on in,” and he held the door open for the smaller man, who crossed the bullpen with alacrity, and obvious relief. 

“Good morning, Captain Banks. I hope I’m not too late?” Blair’s tone was rich and soothing, and Jim basked in his Guide’s presence. 

“Morning, Jim,” the smaller man continued, offering the Sentinel a shy smile. “Didn’t mean to keep you waiting, man. I just wanted a minute to get my act together, you understand?” 

“No problem, Chief,” Jim replied cheerfully. “I did track you,” he continued a little bashfully. “I guessed you’d be a bit anxious, but I knew Murphy would take care of you. He’s a good man. A twenty year veteran who loves the personal side of police work. He’s just the sort of guy you’d want to deal with folks who aren’t normally too fond of cops, if you know what I mean….” 

Suddenly realising he was babbling on in a quite uncharacteristic fashion, he blushed a little and shut up abruptly, only for Blair to offer him a small, understanding grin. 

“I think you’re right Jim. Even my mom Naomi would find it hard to dislike him, and she has no love for the pigs, believe you me! In fact, when she hears what I’m doing now, she’ll probably have a cow! She’ll need plenty of time to process, that’s for sure. And can we say ‘burning sage’?” 

His grin became somewhat sad as he finished speaking, realising suddenly that he hadn’t actually been in contact with his wandering parent for some considerable time, and didn’t even know where she was at that particular moment. However, there was no point in worrying about that now, so he shook himself slightly to dispel the unhappy thought before meeting Simon’s patient if rather perplexed gaze. 

“Sorry, Captain Banks. It’s just that my mom’s an evergreen hippy type,” he explained ruefully. “She’s been on more protests than most people have had hot dinners, and she’s crossed swords, so to speak, with cops on several notable occasions. I was brought up believing that cops were no better than jack-booted thugs – her words, not mine – but I assure you I’ve moderated my opinion. A little, anyway,” and he sent both men a small, cheeky grin. 

Unable to resist the young man’s charm, both cops chose to snicker at his words rather than take offence, and the slightly tense atmosphere between them relaxed noticeably. 

“Fair enough, Dr Sandburg. I hear you!” Banks smirked. “So, let’s get down to business, shall we? Coffee, gentlemen?” and the captain was back in charge.  


\------------------------------------  


Over the next hour or so the three men engaged in intense discussion, ironing out the details of their agreement and setting the parameters of Blair’s role both within the PD as Jim’s official Guide, and also as a part-time member of Rainier’s teaching staff. It was particularly hard on Blair, since he was the one being asked to sacrifice the most in terms of his hopes and aspirations, and by the time they paused for a well-deserved coffee break, both the older men were in no doubt as to just how much they were asking of the young Guide. 

It was Simon who had kicked off the discussion, wanting to be clear about how he hoped the partnership would function and develop, and he had been both reassured and troubled by Jim’s, and particularly Blair’s reactions and acceptance. Both men were obviously committed to working together for the benefit of society – or ‘the tribe’, as Blair chose to call it – but Simon couldn’t help but feel that Blair was perpetually the one drawing the short straw. 

“OK, then, gentlemen. First of all, I want to thank you for coming here this morning, Dr Sandburg.” 

“Blair’s fine, Captain. No need for the formality under the circumstances,” Blair offered with a small, sad smile. 

“Thank you, Blair. I appreciate your cooperative attitude, believe me. 

“Anyhow, this is what the Chief of Police and the Commissioner have come up with to begin with, and I hope it’ll be acceptable to you. Of course, we hope that there will be a possibility of eventually developing the partnership further, but for now this is what we’d like to achieve. It is in no way intended to put you under any more pressure, believe me. 

“But before I begin, there’s something I need to clear up with you first, to my own satisfaction,” and here he looked pointedly, but not unkindly at Blair. “Tell me, Blair, how are you managing with only connecting superficially with Detective Ellison just once a day? Is it enough to maintain your empathic shields to a satisfactory level, or are you struggling?” He knew what Jim had confessed to him, but needed to hear it from Blair’s point of view. Not that he could do much about it if he wasn’t convinced of the young man’s assurances, but it didn’t hurt to be aware of possible future problems. 

Blair blushed at the frank question, lips thinning in irritation as he tore his gaze away from Simon’s penetrating stare, but not before shooting an angry, sideways glance at Jim, who had the decency to look uncomfortable at his captain’s direct approach. 

After a long moment, Blair sighed heavily and looked up to meet Simon’s eyes again, his anger still apparent in his expression, but tempered with resignation and simple fatigue. At that point he had had no intention of confessing the full extent of his inner struggle, and a little judicious obfuscation was definitely in order. 

“It’s OK, Captain. I understand your concern, but you don’t need to worry. I can cope, I assure you. It’s not a perfect solution, but since I’m not prepared to either move in with Detective Ellison, or to completely give up my academic career yet, I have no alternative. I suspect Jim has told you that I sometimes resort to meds to shore up my defences so to speak?” and at Simon’s nod of assent, he sighed again before continuing. 

“Thought as much. But don’t worry. I know what I’m doing, and so far I’m managing. I think it will be better anyway when I spend more time simply working alongside Jim. I have no intention of letting you or Jim down, if that’s what’s worrying you. I promised to try and make this work, and I intend to keep my promise.” 

“I didn’t doubt that for a moment,” Simon responded, the sincerity in his voice and expression plain to see even for a non-empath. “Don’t think that I’m only considering Jim here, son. I have a fair idea of what you’ve had to give up already, and just don’t want you to suffer unnecessarily or to have to give up any more.” 

And Blair nodded his understanding and acceptance after subjecting the big captain to a few moments’ shrewd contemplation. 

“Thank you, Captain Banks. I appreciate your concern and your candour. I promise to let you know if things deteriorate, but in the meantime, let’s just concentrate on the present, OK?” 

“Fair enough Dr Sandburg – Blair. So, as I was saying, this is what we would like to see happening. 

“Ideally, TPTB would like to see you go to the academy so you could work with Jim as a cop, but I’ve already told them I believe that’s a no-go,” and he wasn’t surprised to see a wry grimace cross Blair’s expressive face as he nodded his agreement. 

“Thought as much, but I thought I’d just throw it in there anyway,” the big man responded with an answering grin. 

Then he sobered somewhat as he continued. “The trouble is, Blair, that as long as you are only prepared to put a few hours in at the PD on a daily basis, they can’t create the sort of permanent civilian consultant’s post they would like to, with all the associated benefits. They are prepared to provide a package of expenses and limited medical cover as befits a part-time working Guide within the department, but the amount will be barely more than a stipend. Do you think you can work with that?” 

Blair tilted his head to one side as he considered Simon’s words, his expression for once unreadable as he thought through his reply. In all honesty, although he wouldn’t admit it out loud, it was actually better than he’d expected. During his student years, he had never had much money to his name, having to rely on student loans, grants and the remuneration from private tutoring or the occasional casual job to keep body and soul together. The fact that he would be getting any money at all from the PD was a bonus as far as he was concerned, especially as he also had a small income now from his limited teaching position at Rainier. True, even added together they didn’t make up the sort of income he could have hoped to earn as a full-time, tenured professor, but money was money, and at least he wouldn’t starve. Especially as he still had a decent roof over his head for as long as he and Marcus could rub along together. 

“OK, sir. Say that I accept those terms for now; can you be more specific in the actual role you want me to play? Like, how much time do you envisage me being required to physically work within the department as opposed to being on call in case of an emergency?” 

Simon leaned forward in his seat, the relief plain to see in his face as he replied eagerly. “Well, to a certain extent that would depend on you, Blair. We have no right to demand that you give up even more time to back Jim up when you have other responsibilities to meet, but perhaps three to four hours a day would be acceptable under normal circumstances? Within that time you and your Sentinel would be able to connect – under supervision, of course, for as long as you require it – and you could carry out whatever testing and training Jim needs as far as control techniques and other practical sentinel stuff is concerned. No doubt you know far more about that side of things than we do.” Here he shot a repressive, sidelong glance at Jim, who had snorted in disgust at his boss’ mention of testing. 

“Over and above that, we would require that you acquaint yourself with police procedure as much as possible, and we hope that you will consent to accompany Jim when his senses are required in the field, so that there is no chance of him zoning on the job, so to speak. It won’t be on a regular basis, at least not at first, you understand? When you’re not available, he’ll go out with a partner who knows what to do in case of unexpected difficulties, but hopefully those shouldn’t arise under normal circumstances. Whatever happens, I can promise you he won’t be going out alone and unprotected again,” and here he paused to glower at his subordinate, whose own bleak expression made it very clear what he thought of his captain’s words so far. Undaunted, Simon continued firmly. “Of course, he’ll need you as backup when he knows he has to act specifically as a sentinel, such as in a forensic capacity at a crime scene. And if you should prefer that a third party accompany you on those occasions, I shall respect your wishes. 

“There may well be an element of danger in those field trips, of course. It’s the nature of the job, after all, and I need to know that you understand completely what is expected of you. What do you think so far?” 

Blair looked away for several long minutes, his thoughts introspective as he gave himself time to think things through. He had no intention of letting anyone down if he could help it, but he also had to think of himself for once. Eventually, he gave himself a small shake as he came back to the here and now, and both older men waited with barely concealed impatience for his response. 

“I think that should be doable, Captain. To be honest, I only have two classes to teach now – one freshman Anthro 101 class, and one post-grad specialised Sentinel Study group. Both ends of the anthropological spectrum, so to speak,” and he smiled a little self-consciously. “I do have ‘office hours’ even though I no longer have an office, _per se,_ and there is a possibility of me signing up for an add-on course in Forensic Anthropology in the Fall, so I’ll need study time for that. But even so, yes, I think I can do half days at the PD as long as the hours can be relatively flexible.” 

“That would be perfectly satisfactory, Blair. But I thought you had an office? I was pretty impressed when I came to see you at Rainier,” Simon said conversationally, prepared to relax a little now he had received Blair’s conditional agreement. 

“Oh no, I don’t have that office anymore,” Blair replied with a rueful half-grin. “It was only allocated to me when the faculty thought I was going to take up the full-time position they offered me after I got my PhD. By the time you came to see me when Jim zoned, I was on the point of handing in my notice and moving out to save Dean Rothschild from having to do it for me. I wasn’t coping at all well, and I knew I had to go. After all, I can hardly go off on extended expeditions any more, which is something a tenured professor would be expected to do. 

“But now I’ve come to an arrangement with Rainier to teach on a part-time basis, I have temporary space in Eli’s office suite, even though it’s little more than a closet. It’s still somewhere I can work in a modicum of privacy, and is considerably warmer – and cleaner - than the Artefact Storage Room I used to use,” and he grinned cheerfully at his companions, his innate optimism still not yet extinguished by current circumstances. 

On the other hand, for Jim it was yet another reminder of the dire consequences his actions had had on the younger man’s life, and his guilt deepened even as he tried to offer an answering smile. He didn’t want to upset Sandburg unduly, but there was something he needed to clarify, for the young man’s sake as much as for his own. 

“Um, how are you coping as far as your empathy is concerned, Chief? I mean, I know you’re taking the meds when you need to, and you say you can ‘manage’ OK, but how is your overall control? Is it getting easier with practice, or could you do with some extra help? Because I’m happy to be there for you if you need it. Anytime, Chief. It’s the least I can do.” 

To his alarm, and to Simon’s overt astonishment, Blair immediately reddened in embarrassment, ducking his head as he stared guiltily at the floor beneath his feet. Busted! Time to ‘fess up. 

_‘Idon’tuseit,’_ came the barely whispered reply. 

“Sorry, what did you say, Chief? Is there something wrong?” 

Blair raised his head and glared at Jim, the anger and frustration plain to see in his flashing eyes. 

“I _said_ I don’t use it, OK?” he almost snarled. “It hurts, and makes me feel like a voyeur, so I try and keep my barriers up at all times. And as long as I take the meds as well as getting boosts from you, I can pretend I’m normal. I was happy with the low level of sensitivity I had before the bond, and that’s how I wanted to stay. I know that I can’t expect the situation to remain unchanged once I’m working with you on a regular basis, but just for a little while I could pretend. It’s what I wanted. What I needed….” As his words trailed off, to his dismay he suddenly felt his eyes filling with tears of disappointment and despair. Mortified, he swiped angrily at the embarrassing moisture, and fought to get himself back under control. 

_Dammit, why couldn’t Ellison leave things alone? Why does he need to give me the third degree? I guess it’s a cop thing, or a sentinel thing, but surely I’m entitled to a little privacy. I don’t **want** to poke around in his head, or ‘read’ people. I don’t want this ‘gift’ any more than he wants his!_

And therein lay the crux of their joint problem. Blair knew that Jim had never wanted his gift of hypersensitivity, so had fought against it for most of his life. It was that obstinacy to accept the inevitable that finally pushed him over the edge into a primal state, hence his attack on Blair. But as far as Blair was concerned, he had been happily oblivious to his own potential empathic gift, and he would have been quite content to remain that way for the rest of his life. But it had been awakened after all as part of the whole bonded Guide deal, and now he had to live with it – and with the knowledge that he needed his Sentinel in order to stay sane. 

All his hard-won calm and equilibrium was blasted pitilessly away, and he was left feeling small and vulnerable again, at the mercy of his fear and frustration. An overwhelming urge to run away was fighting to overtake him, and he clenched his fists so tightly that he could feel his fingernails digging into his palms. 

It was at that point where Jim intervened, even though he was aware that his attention might not be welcome. He couldn’t just sit by and watch Blair fall apart in front of them, and he knew it was up to him to respond. His Guide; his responsibility to protect, comfort and cherish whether Sandburg liked it or not. As Simon looked on with troubled eyes, he knelt in front of the smaller man and gently took Blair’s hands, carefully prising the fingers open before his nails could actually break the skin. 

“Easy, Chief. It’s OK. I’m sorry I upset you again. I didn’t mean to pry. I was just concerned for you is all.” He kept his voice gentle and soothing even as he tried to open their link, needing and wanting to send calming thoughts to his unhappy Guide. And to his great relief, Blair actually opened to him, and accepted the offered comfort, the pounding heartbeats gradually settling and the whiff of stress and despair fading to leave Blair’s enticing personal scent behind. Jim knew very well that it wasn’t a full reconciliation by any means, but surely it was a beginning – a first baby step towards mutual acceptance and understanding. He could but hope, anyway. 

After a while, Blair finally sat up straight and gently pulled his hands from Jim’s warm grasp, incidentally surprised at the slight feeling of deprivation that he experienced at the loss of contact. His expression shy and bashful, he voiced his apology, relieved that the disdain and disgust he had expected to see in the other men’s faces was completely absent. 

“Sorry about that, Big Guy. And Captain Banks. I didn’t expect to go into melt-down like that. Took me by surprise, for sure. It won’t happen again.” 

“Don’t worry about it, Blair,” Simon was quick to reassure him. “You’ve had a lot to deal with, and frankly I’m awed at your resilience. Take a few minutes to relax, have another coffee, then perhaps you’d like to go with Jim to get your paperwork started?” 

With a grateful smile, Blair nodded his acceptance, and he couldn’t fail to notice the relief and pleasure that coloured Jim’s expression as the big cop rose to his feet to re-take his seat, willing to wait until Blair was ready to accompany him to Admin where the first steps towards making Blair his official Guide would be taken.  


\------------------------------------  


**Shortly afterwards, the bullpen:**  


After the pair emerged from Simon’s office, Jim led the smaller man over to his desk before taking him on down to the Personnel Department. He had managed to procure an extra chair for Blair’s use, and hoped eventually to get Blair his own desk and workstation next to Jim’s if he could persuade the IT and financial departments to cooperate. He was explaining his plans somewhat diffidently to Blair when a strident female voice cut across the bullpen from the direction of the main door. 

“Bloody hell, Ellison! When are you going to learn to park that bloody truck properly? You’re half over two bays, and I can’t get into my space. Get your arse down to the garage and shift that pile of junk before I kick the sodding door in!” 

Blair gaped in astonishment at the owner of the voice, momentarily transfixed by the tall, attractive brunette who was presently glowering furiously at Jim. By her vocabulary and her accent he surmised that she was from Down Under, and she looked like she meant business. 

Beside him, Jim stiffened instantly, the aggression in his stance and the scowl on his face boding ill for the female cop as the primal Sentinel surged to the fore. However, when Blair instinctively put out his hand to grasp Jim’s forearm, automatically opening their link to send soothing thoughts to his angry partner, Jim backed down immediately. Looking down to meet Blair’s worried gaze, Jim was completely disarmed by the care and concern that was plain to see on the young Guide’s face, and his own expression softened in response. Now smiling ruefully, he relaxed and patted the smaller man’s hand reassuringly as he addressed the still fuming woman. 

“And a very good morning to you also, Conner,” he said smoothly. “Allow me to introduce my new partner and Guide, Dr Blair Sandburg. Blair, this is Inspector Megan Conner, on loan to MCU from New South Wales Police Department via the Officer Exchange Programme. Come and say hello, Chief,” and he was immensely relieved and gratified when Blair didn’t flinch at the friendly hand Jim rested on his shoulder, but accompanied Jim in crossing the room to greet his now bemused colleague. 

Ignoring the openly interested looks sent their way by the bullpen’s other occupants, Jim gently urged Blair forward, sure now that Megan posed no threat to his Guide. 

For her part, Megan was instantly won over by the attractive young man who smiled up at her, his eyes sparkling in shy appreciation as he held out his hand for her to shake. 

“Um, good morning, Inspector Conner. I’m pleased to meet you,” he murmured, and her face lit up like the sun in response. 

“G’day, Dr Sandburg. I’m really glad to meet you too, mate. We’ve heard a lot about you, and were looking forward to seeing how you cope with Jimbo here. And it looks like you’re doing a bang-up job so far. Perhaps he’ll become a bit more sociable now instead of always growling and spitting like a big jungle cat. I’ve never seen anyone stop him in his tracks when he’s about to throw a tanty before now. You must have a magic touch!” 

When Blair ducked his head, blushing bashfully at her compliments, she couldn’t help herself, but reached out to cup his heated face in her cool palms. 

“No worries, love. And call me Megan. I think we’re going to be good friends, Sandy,” and now it was Blair’s turn to be bemused, even though he truly appreciated the Inspector’s honest approbation. He certainly hadn’t expected quite such a welcome, and it warmed him to know that at least one of Jim’s fellow cops was OK with his presence. 

Grinning hugely, Megan completely ignored Jim’s sudden frown and low, possessive growl when she suddenly dropped a smacker of a kiss on Blair’s cheek, the merriment in her eyes plain to see. However, before Blair – or Jim – had a chance to respond in any way, their attention was drawn to the bullpen doors, which opened to admit a rather portly but pleasant-looking coloured man, whose broad features fairly glowed with unaffected geniality. Striding quickly up to the small group, he clapped Jim on the shoulder as he smiled down at Blair, who was still partially entrapped in Megan’s clutches. 

“You must be Dr Sandburg,” the new arrival announced cheerfully as he held out his hand for Blair to shake. “I’m so pleased to meet you, son. My friend Jim here has needed a proper Guide and partner for far too long, and I know you both will make a huge difference to the department. I’m Joel Taggert, and I look forward to working with you.” 

Blair couldn’t help but take to the big man, choosing for once to deliberately utilise his empathy to ‘read’ Taggert, and liking what he discovered. There was no apparent side to the man, just genuine good humour and affability, and Blair’s own smile was warm as he shook the offered hand. 

“I’m pleased to meet you also, Captain Taggert. Jim has told me about you, and how you have helped him out in the field. But please call me Blair. The ‘Dr Sandburg’ stuff is still pretty new, and I’m not really used to it yet.” 

“Fair enough, Blair, as long as you call me Joel,” the other man responded amicably. “But now I’m afraid I have to leave you,” he continued. “I came to collect Megan here as we have some leads to follow up on in the docklands area. I look forward to seeing you again soon, Blair,” and with a grin he took Megan’s arm and steered her towards the door. 

Looking back over her shoulder, Megan added cheekily, “See you soon, love. Don’t let the big drongo boss you about!” But despite her smile, the undertone of warning was evident in the telling glare she levelled at Jim. 

“Don’t worry, Conner. Just keep your nose out of our business and we’ll all be fine!” Jim’s own response was only half joking despite his rather strained grin and forced, light tone, and Blair shot him a slightly worried glance. 

“Sorry, Chief,” Jim was quick to reassure his Guide, the contrition in his expression plain to see. “That woman just gets on my nerves. She’s got low-level empathy, although not enough to be graded on the official working Guide scale, and when she arrived Simon thought it would be good for me if we were partnered together. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a damned good cop; one you’d be glad to have backing you up; but she irritates the crap out of me, and I do the same for her. Simon had to separate us before we shot each other. 

“And she really turned on the screws after she heard about my attack on you. It wasn’t something we could keep under cover, even though Simon backed me up as much as he could. Let’s just say that I’m not Mr Popularity here now. Not that I ever really was, but that was my own fault. And my own choosing.” Jim’s tone and expression turned grim and self-deprecating, and for a moment Blair actually felt the urge to hug the Sentinel. However, he held back, unsure of himself once again, and concerned that Jim might take it as evidence that his Guide was coming around to the idea of a more physical relationship, which so far, he certainly wasn’t. Instead he chose to offer verbal comfort. 

“I’m sure it won’t be so bad now, Jim. I mean, now I’m actually here, and by my own choice, your colleagues will be able to see for themselves that I’m OK.” 

“Let’s hope so, Chief. Anyhow, we’d best get on down to admin and get your paperwork started, or else it’ll be time for you to leave for the U before we’ve achieved anything!”  


\-----------------------------------  


An hour or so later, Blair handed back his completed sheaf of paperwork to the formidable middle-aged dragon lady who guarded the Personnel Department’s main desk. Vera was an efficient woman, if somewhat strait-laced, and like many of the clerical staff, had little time for the aloof and irascible Sentinel. However, she was completely won over by Blair’s bright smile and friendly aura, so much so that she felt constrained to murmur an admonishment to the tall cop despite his forbidding demeanour. 

“I hope you will take good care of that young man, Detective. You’ve obviously been very lucky in your choice of partner, and he doesn’t need your attitude.” 

And rather than the angry retort she might have expected, Jim had the grace to look suitably chastened as he replied softly, “I know it, Vera. And don’t worry. I intend to take very good care of him.” 

“See that you do, Sentinel Detective Ellison,” and Vera nodded briskly as she turned to retrieve the paperwork from the approaching Guide, her expression softening appreciably as she smiled down into the sparkling blue eyes. 

“Thank you, Dr Sandburg. Your pass will be ready for you to collect in the morning.” 

“Thank you, Vera. And please call me Blair. See you in the morning!” and Blair grinned at her before turning away, completely oblivious to the effects of his innate charm on the older woman. 

It hadn’t gone unnoticed by his Sentinel, however, and Jim was struck once again by the way that his Guide seemed to be able to win over most people he met with unconscious ease. It wasn’t across the board, however, as they found out on the way back up to MCU. 

As they walked down the corridor towards the elevators, Jim noticed with no little gratification that Blair seemed to be much more relaxed now, the tension in his back and shoulders significantly reduced, at least to sentinel sight. And touch also, as Blair didn’t appear to mind - or perhaps hadn’t really registered - the possessive hand Jim was resting lightly on the small of his back. Perhaps the public nature of their surroundings was the deciding factor in Blair’s increasing confidence, but whatever was causing it, Jim wasn’t complaining. The smaller man was peering around him, his innate curiosity coming to the fore as he began to ask Jim pertinent questions about the PD and the different personnel that worked therein. 

Unfortunately, when they reached the elevator, the doors opened to reveal Detective Art Murcheson and two of his colleagues from Vice, and Jim groaned inwardly when he realised that they would either have to share a car with the corpulent cop, or wait for another. Although he didn’t want to enter, he knew Murcheson would probably take offence if they ignored him, and the relationship between the two cops was strained enough without adding to it. Jim had had no choice but to work with the ignorant, outspoken and openly homophobic detective on occasion, especially during his own stint in that department, and there was no love lost between them. Murcheson considered Jim to be a goody-goody choir boy, and resented his capability as an effective cop, especially when by comparison it showed Murcheson up as lazy, bigoted and inept. In fact, Jim couldn’t understand why the man hadn’t received his walking papers yet, and could only conclude that Captain Sullivan, who headed up Vice, was covering up for his man’s shortcomings for some reason. 

Aware that Blair was gazing up at him in puzzlement, and that the door was about to close, Jim stepped into the car, placing Blair slightly behind him, and as far from the other cops as the limited confines of the car allowed. His dim hope that Art would simply ignore them came to nothing, however, as the cop grinned nastily, and cast an openly lascivious gaze over what he could see of Sandburg. Flicking a conspiratorial glance over at his companions, he drawled insultingly, “Well, well. So the Sentinel’s got himself a Guide after all. Got a really pretty one too, Jimbo! How often do you have to fuck him? And can anyone join in? That is, if there’s anything left of him by the time you’ve finished with him!” and he sniggered cruelly at his own sick comment. 

At the vile words, Blair had gone ghost white, and Jim unsurprisingly bridled instantly, preparing to rip the guy’s ugly fat head from his shoulders. However, before he could move, Blair stepped out from behind him, and got right up into the big cop’s personal space. Incandescent with rage, the small Guide snarled at the shocked behemoth, whose jaw dropped and eyes widened in astonishment as if a tame and pampered pet had suddenly turned on him. 

“How dare you? How _dare_ you, you ignorant asshole! Is that what you think? That Sentinels and Guides are duty-bound to fuck each other to exhaustion in order to work together? Well, think again! Sentinels and Guides _don’t_ need sex every five minutes to work together, got it? We can function quite adequately without it, so get your facts straight, and GET OUT OF MY FACE!” 

Blair punctuated his words with a stiff finger poking painfully at Murcheson’s sternum, and the big man actually backed up against the car’s wall. Although still on full alert and ready to step in as necessary, Jim gawped in amazement, stunned by the almost palpable power radiating off his gentle Guide, while the other two cops simply averted their gaze, shuffling their feet self-consciously as if they would rather be anywhere else but there. 

Just then, the car stopped at the fourth floor, and Murcheson lurched out as quickly as he could, red-faced with embarrassment as he beat a hasty retreat, promptly followed by his companions. He had been severely shocked by the young Guide’s unexpected aggression, and knew he had been made to look stupid in front of his colleagues. Shooting a venomous backward glance at the open car doors, he bustled off down the corridor to his own department, leaving a trail of derogatory laughter in his wake. 

It wasn’t Blair and Jim who were laughing, though. As soon as the doors closed and they were allowed a few moments’ privacy, Blair deflated like a burst balloon. With his knees threatening to buckle beneath him in reaction, he made no comment when Jim swiftly wrapped a supportive arm around his waist, as without it he was sure he would collapse in a quivering heap on the floor. 

“S…s…sorry, man. That was pretty stupid, huh?” he managed to stutter out, the shakes setting in quickly now his adrenalin-fuelled anger had dissipated as rapidly as it had arisen. 

“Don’t sweat it, Chief,” Jim was quick to reassure him. “I think that was the most amazing thing I’ve seen in a long time. Murcheson’s always been a pain in the ass, and he deserved everything you said to him.” 

“That’s as may be, Jim, but I can’t help but feel like I’ve made a real enemy there, and stirred up even worse bad feeling between you two than already existed. I’m sorry, man,” and he hung his head in shame at his own lack of control. 

“Don’t be, Chief. I can’t remember the last time anyone stood up for me like that. I’m usually the one who goes on the offensive at the drop of a hat, trying to protect everyone and everything whether they want me to or not. 

“Look, we’re at our floor, but I think you could do with a few moments down-time before we go back into the bullpen. Let’s go to the break room. I can tell that there’s no one there right now, so you can have what passes for a cup of MCU coffee and relax a bit.” 

“Sounds good, man,” and Blair leaned into Jim’s side, prepared for once to accept the man’s strength and support. 

Pushing through the break room door, Jim eased his Guide into the nearest chair and headed for the coffee pot, pleased to find that someone had recently made a fresh batch as he knew to his cost that sometimes the brew was so old and stale you could mistake it for tar. 

“Here you go, Chief. I’ve added a bit of sugar. I know you don’t usually have any, but I think it’ll do you good.” 

“Thanks, man,” Blair murmured, taking the steaming mug in both hands and warming his cold and clammy palms on the hot porcelain. 

After sipping quietly for a few minutes, Blair put the mug down and looked up to meet Jim’s concerned gaze, his own expression one of anxiety warring with confusion and no little determination. 

“Um, about what you said back there, man. About it usually being you that did all the protective shtick. I was thinking that maybe it’s also something that comes naturally to a bonded Guide, too. At least, as far as his own Sentinel is concerned. It’s all part of watching your back, after all. Part of the type of teamwork I’ve seen for myself. So I shouldn’t be so shocked and surprised at my own reactions. It’s just another facet of this bonded thing I have to get used to.” 

“Well, I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t appreciate the effort, Chief. You were awesome, kiddo. But I still wish you hadn’t had these changes in your behaviour forced on you. That’s still all down to me.” 

“No point in flogging that particular dead horse, Jim,” Blair answered with a sad smile. “I’ll just have to make the best of it. And maybe it’s no bad thing after all, even if it does mess with my karma. I don’t suppose that I’d survive long in this uber-macho cop’s world if I can’t toughen up.” 

“Oh, I’m not so sure about that, Chief. At least you’ll have all the clerical staff as well as me and Simon on your side. Joel and Megan too. Now that’s quite a force to be reckoned with!” 

And he was overjoyed when his words drew and honest-to-goodness laugh from his Guide. 

“If you say so, Jim. If you say so….”  


\--------------------------------------------  


**Part 2: More Baby Steps:**  


**Several weeks later:**  


**Jim:**  


Seated at his desk in the bullpen, Jim scowled as he laboriously typed the finishing touches to his report, wishing yet again that Blair was here beside him, his nimble fingers flying across the keyboard as he completed one of his masterpieces in Jim’s name. He had quickly learned to appreciate the younger man’s IT skills and superior literary talent, so that when he was forced to do his own paperwork it was more time-consuming and noticeably less satisfactory. 

However, today Blair wasn’t due in until later in the day, having to attend a faculty meeting that morning, so Jim had been left to fight his way through his in-tray as best he could. Sighing gustily as he typed the last full stop, he saved the file and hit ‘print’, leaning back in his seat to roll his shoulders and work the stiffness out of his back and neck. The normally busy bullpen was relatively quiet for once, with most of the cops out and about chasing up leads and working on their outstanding cases. Even Simon was suffering through a detested but necessary financial meeting with the Chief, the Commissioner and the Mayor, so Jim took a few minutes to relax before tackling the next item in his tray. 

Getting to his feet to retrieve the printed report, he detoured via the break room to help himself to a coffee, glad to stretch his legs a little after hunching over his computer for so long. The pot was reasonably fresh, so he poured himself a cup, eyeing the vending machine as he added creamer. The potato chips were too tempting to resist, so he fished in his pocket for change, grinning to himself as he imagined what Blair would say if he knew what his Sentinel was doing. He had already had the extended lecture on the dangers of his favourite Wonderburger combo lunch, the horrified Guide lamenting the amount of saturated fat Jim was wont to ingest. Furring arteries and heart disease was described in detail, with Blair even stating that Jim might just as well inject the stuff directly into his veins, not in the least amused when his grinning partner simply replied that there was no satisfaction in that. 

On the other hand, Jim acknowledged privately that he had modified his diet to a certain extent, and now used many of the alternative cleaning products and toiletries suggested by his Guide, grateful that Blair should take seriously his role in creating a more sentinel-friendly environment for him. But he still wouldn’t move in to the loft, and Jim frowned in displeasure as he took his coffee and snack back to his desk. 

Munching on his treat, he considered the course of their relationship so far, mentally itemising the positives and the negatives before going on to think wistfully about how he would like it to develop. 

He knew he certainly couldn’t complain about his Guide’s commitment to their working partnership, such as it was. The young man kept a killer schedule, throwing himself into his work both at the U and the PD. Although he still only had a few actual classes to teach, he was voluntarily doing extra individual tutoring and running seminars, the dedicated teacher within him unable to resist offering his help and advice to benefit eager young minds willing to learn. He had also commenced classes in Forensic Anthropology and Criminology as he had promised, and as usual was soaking up the additional information like the proverbial sponge. 

When it came to the hours he spent at the PD, he was always totally focussed on Jim and on his own role as Jim’s partner when the occasion required. It was true that he wasn’t always available to accompany Jim in the field on a regular basis, but was always there when they knew that Jim’s senses were needed, grounding the older man by touch and voice with ease, his instinctive guiding ability indubitable to all who witnessed the pair’s efforts. 

However, when they met to have their daily reconnecting session; whether at the PD or Rainier’s Sentinel and Guide Unit; it was still totally clinical and platonic, and always in the presence of someone Blair trusted, and he had never yet ridden alone with Jim to crime scenes. He was still wary of encountering the primal side of his Sentinel, and never pushed into Jim’s mind or ‘read’ him more than superficially, even as he kept his own mind closed to Jim. Having said that, he had begun to use his empathic gift more now, having grown to gradually accept it as something which could be of benefit not only to Blair himself, but to Jim and ‘the tribe’. 

So yes, there were many positives for which Jim knew he should be grateful, but truth be told, he wanted so much more. 

One of the most telling of his wishes was his yearning to have a more physical relationship with his Guide. His desire for the younger man hadn’t diminished at all, and indeed was now bordering on the obsessive. He frequently awoke from a restless sleep, his hard-on physical evidence of his troubled dreams wherein he relived the dramatic occasion of their bonding. Although he usually woke up horrified all over again about what he had forced Blair to do, there were other occasions when he dreamed that the young Guide had welcomed his attentions, and reciprocated in kind. Not only that, he was certain that he could sometimes catch a whiff of pheromones when he touched Blair during their rudimentary reconnecting, although it was always swiftly stifled and sadly as far as the disappointed Sentinel was concerned, quickly overlaid by the taint of real anxiety. 

Lips thinning in frustration, he wondered how long he could maintain his own façade of acceptance of their present status quo. Because he knew that his inner Sentinel was growing increasingly – and disturbingly – restless, and he was finding it ever harder not to succumb to his baser instincts to possess and protect. He was guiltily aware that he was actively stalking his Guide whenever he could, telling himself that it was simply a need to ensure the smaller man’s safety even though an inner voice mocked him for his foolish self-delusion. But he couldn’t help it, assuaging his troubled conscience with the belief that on at least one occasion he had been instrumental in preventing any harm coming to Blair. 

He recalled that incident now, which had occurred only a couple of weeks ago. He had driven to Rainier on impulse, the inner Sentinel convinced that his Guide had need of him even though under normal circumstances Jim the man would scoff at such an apparently whimsical notion. Parking up, he had approached Hargrove Hall, the building that housed the Anthropology Department, and immediately spotted his Guide engaged in an obviously heated conversation with a hulking young man who towered threateningly over him. Without a second thought, Jim opened his hearing and learned that the student was one of Blair’s freshmen from his Anthro 101 class, who apparently thought that Blair should amend his grade so that he wouldn’t be thrown off the football team. And, unsurprisingly, Blair was having none of it, refusing to submit to the blatant attempt at intimidation. 

Although Blair’s outward demeanour was cool and relatively calm, Jim could hear the thundering of his heart in his chest as he tried to reason with the angry student, so without further ado, Jim strolled casually over to the pair. He knew from experience that Blair was pretty good at taking care of himself, and wouldn’t take kindly to Jim trying to muscle in like some overbearing, macho he-man, so Jim pasted what he hoped was a convincing grin on his face as he called out cheerfully, “Hey, Chief! Glad to have caught you! I was just passing, and wondered if you’d like to go for an early lunch before heading back to the PD?” 

Although he saw Blair’s expression change from surprise to narrow-eyed suspicion, he kept up his innocent act, turning his head to nod seemingly affably at the scowling student as he threw a possessive arm around Blair’s shoulders. There was no mistaking the steely glint in the ice blue eyes that accompanied the smile, however, and only a fool would choose to ignore the warning signs. Luckily, the student took the hint, and scurried away without a backward glance, and Jim hoped that that would be the end of the matter. And furthermore, he hoped that the kid would spread the word that Blair’s Sentinel was a very buff and intimidating cop, so that similar confrontations would be avoided in the future. 

Jim looked down into Blair’s upturned face, noting the perplexed expression, which actually looked kind of cute on the Guide’s attractive features. He knew that Blair wanted to question his motives, but still lacked the confidence to do so, so he decided to just run with it. After all, they had previously lunched together on occasion, using public locations in order to appease the nervous Guide, and they invariably used separate vehicles to get there. 

“So, Chief, where would you like to go? Barney’s Bar near the PD?” and Blair had really had no reason to demur, so had submitted gracefully enough even though Jim knew his curiosity had remained unsatisfied. 

Distracted by the noise of the bullpen doors opening, Jim’s thoughts returned to the present as he turned to face the newcomers, which turned out to be Joel and Megan. They were closely followed by two other MCU detectives, Henri ‘H’ Brown and his partner, Brian Rafe. Spotting Jim at his desk, the small group made their way over to him, with Megan in the lead as per usual. 

“Hey, Jimbo! Is Sandy coming in today? H wants to ask you both something.” 

“Yeah, Conner. He should be in shortly, once his meeting’s over. Why?” and he raised a quizzical eyebrow as he turned to look up at the man in question. 

As usual, the ebullient young African American detective was sporting one of his outrageous Hawaiian shirts, the compete antithesis of his quieter partner, whose consistently dapper appearance earned him the nickname ‘Mr GQ’. 

“Hey, my man, you know it’s my birthday on Sunday? I wanted to ask Blair if he’d like to come to a BBQ at my place Saturday afternoon. Um, you too, if you want?” 

Jim knew he shouldn’t be hurt nor offended by H’s less-than-eager inclusion of himself in the invitation, since he had never encouraged his fellow officers to feel any sort of friendship or social connection with him over and above a working relationship, but he was surprised to find that it stung nevertheless. Forcing down the urge to snap peevishly at the younger cop, he nodded amicably instead. 

“I don’t know what Blair usually does with his weekends, but I suspect that he’ll be really pleased to be asked. As for me, I don’t know yet, but maybe if Blair accepts? Can I get back to you?” 

And H grinned at him, genuinely happy that for once the older detective hadn’t immediately thrown his friendly overture back in his face. 

“Sure, babe, you got it! Hope you can both make it, and I’ll ask Blair as soon as he gets in. Later, babe!” and he sashayed breezily over to his desk, clapping Rafe affectionately on the shoulder as he passed. 

Head tilted to one side, Megan contemplated Jim for a moment before her face lit up in a wide smile. 

“Good on yer, Jimbo. I think you’d both enjoy a good barbie at H’s place. About time you lightened up and joined the gang, big fella,” and with a cheeky wink, she turned to go, and Jim was warmed by the friendly and understanding smiles directed at him by Joel and Rafe as they followed suit. 

Shortly afterwards, Blair arrived, and was immediately accosted by H. On receiving his invitation, his eyes lit up and Jim could see that the young Guide was genuinely touched by H’s kindness. This was just the sort of thing that would help Blair feel included in the unit, and Jim knew he should be glad for his partner. Sandburg deserved the affection and esteem in which he was held by the majority of Major Crimes, and it was churlish of Jim to feel a pang of jealousy on his own behalf. 

Hearing Blair accept with pleasure, Jim knew he would be going too. However much he appreciated this new offer of camaraderie, no way would he want his Guide to attend on his own.  


\-------------------------------  


**Blair, same morning:**  


Forced to endure the regular two-monthly faculty meeting at Rainier, Blair was having a very bad morning. Although through his natural acting ability and long practice gained during years of attending less-than-riveting lectures he appeared alert and interested, inside he was anything but. Deliberately seating himself in a relatively inconspicuous spot, he listened half-heartedly to the seemingly interminable droning and moaning of some of the professors and administrative staff. As a student and lowly TA he had always known about the back-stabbing and brown-nosing that existed in the world of academia, which was every bit as ruthless and unpleasant as in any big business venture or public service department. However, until now he had managed to avoid getting entangled in such a quagmire of financial wheeling and dealing, so-called ethical arguments, off-the-wall theories and rebuttals delivered by over-inflated egos. But now he was Dr Sandburg and officially a member of faculty, even if his part-time position was tenuous at best, so he had no option but to attend. And it was driving him slowly demented. 

Finally giving up on even trying to assimilate the finer points of the discussion going on around him, he allowed his mind to roam, breathing slowly and steadily in an effort to find his centre. Because in truth, he felt awful. He was physically exhausted, continuously driving himself ever harder trying to keep up with his dual roles of teacher and Guide, and he was ruefully aware that despite the extra dose of meds he had taken this morning to tide him over, it had been too long since he had reconnected with his Sentinel. It suddenly occurred to him that he actually wanted to escape from this mind-numbing meeting as soon as possible and get to the PD, and the depth of his eagerness surprised him. Certainly he still enjoyed studying and teaching, but he realised with no little amazement that he was getting more drawn into the closed society of Cascade PD. Who’d have thought that attending a routine faculty meeting would lead to such a moment of epiphany? 

Then again, he knew he was still afraid of Jim, even though he had to admit that he was getting to like the big cop despite himself. Over the weeks he had worked with Jim, he had gradually begun to learn what made the man and the Sentinel tick, although he was aware that the process would be far easier and quicker if they linked mentally, if not physically as fully as a bonded Sentinel and Guide should. However, he was equally, and painfully aware that the reason that it hadn’t happened yet was still mainly down to him and his unrelenting diffidence plus his need for self-protection. 

As he continued to ponder in the same vein, he was forced to acknowledge that he was beginning to really enjoy his admittedly somewhat vague and unstructured role within the PD as Jim’s official Guide, and to truly appreciate the people who worked there, at least in Major Crimes. He realised with a pang that he was getting tired of and frustrated with the academic in-fighting and narrow-minded naiveté of so many of his fellow teachers, and he was beginning to feel stale and bored. He rather whimsically compared his position at Rainier to an endless merry-go-round, when the glimpses he had seen of Jim’s work as a cop plus his own limited experiences in the field resembled a thrilling, white-knuckle rollercoaster ride more of which Blair longed to sample. The revelation shocked him, as did the thought that to enable such a situation would mean agreeing to form a real partnership with Jim, and more shocking still was the realisation that he wasn’t completely averse to the concept. 

Goddess! Did it mean that he was truly beginning to accept that his life and destiny belonged with Jim now? And if so, what about his life at the U? Yes, he still loved to study. That at least was a given, and, like achieving his doctorate, meant the world to him. It was an integral part of his life, and he would never tire of it, even though he didn’t actually need to be at Rainier to do it. And OK, he had already accepted that he hated the internal politics. But did he really love teaching as much as he had done before? If he was being honest, he could admit that he was growing disillusioned, especially having to deal with freshmen like Brad Diller, the football jock who had threatened him when Jim rather suspiciously turned up out of the blue to ride to Blair’s rescue. Yes, he still loved to share his knowledge and enthusiasm with other like-minded peers, grad students and Anthro majors, but the endless struggle to get through to classes of bored freshmen who were only interested in getting so-called ‘easy’ credits was no fun at all. And he could no longer look forward to expeditions to break the monotony either. 

And then there was his personal life to consider. His workload of late was so heavy that he had had little time for socialising, working late into the night to catch up with writing, grading and studying. He couldn’t remember when he had last had a proper date, and life at home was getting harder. 

Although he and Marcus were still good friends, and Marcus insisted that Blair could keep his room at the apartment indefinitely, Blair knew the writing was really on the wall now. Marcus had finally given up on trying to seduce Blair, and was dating a mutual friend, Alan Leaman. Blair was sincerely happy for him, especially as he no longer had to feel guilty about being the object of his roomie’s unrequited desires, but he also knew that it was unfair of him to stay. He was already feeling like a fifth wheel, and didn’t want to encroach on the happy couple’s privacy any more than he had to, so fully intended to start looking for his own apartment as soon as he had time. 

He suddenly felt desperately unsettled, as if everything in his life was changing yet again, so he decided that he needed to discuss his future with his old friend and mentor, Dr Eli Stoddard. If anyone could help him clarify his thoughts and formulate some sort of workable plan, Eli could. The idea calmed him somewhat, and he determinedly shook off his temporary funk, realising that the excruciatingly tedious meeting was finally drawing to a close. He extricated himself swiftly from the gathering before he could be buttonholed by anyone; especially some pompous windbag who either wanted to pick his brains or dump yet more work on his already overburdened shoulders; and made his escape. He hurried to his office-cum-closet to gather his jacket and backpack and headed for his car and freedom, intent on reaching the PD as soon as possible.  


\----------------------------------  


As he approached the MCU bullpen, Blair was incredibly grateful to feel the incessant pounding between his temples begin to dissipate, which meant that Jim was waiting within and already attempting to shield him and shore up his fraying barriers as much as possible. With a sigh of relief, he pushed open the door, to be immediately confronted by a grinning H, who greeted him cheerfully. 

“Hey, Blair babe! Just the man I wanted to see! Look, babe, you know it’s my birthday on Sunday, and I want you to come to a BBQ at my place Saturday afternoon, OK? All the MCU gang’s coming, so come on, say ‘yes’, ‘cause you’re one of us now!” and then he dropped his voice to a theatrical stage whisper as he waggled his eyebrows comically at the somewhat bemused Guide. “If you come, I think Jim’ll come too, and that would be a ‘first’! How about it, babe?” 

And how could Blair resist? In truth he was both thrilled and somewhat emotional, this being a real indication that he was accepted within their ranks as an equal. And he realised that it was probably one of the most important and desired goals he had ever sought. The gift of belonging to a group of people he admired and loved. He, Blair Sandburg. The weird, hyperactive brainiac son of a wandering hippy single mom. The perpetual outsider looking in; the objective observer gone native, and now welcomed into this much-admired closed society. It was all he had ever dreamed of, and he felt like crying. 

But of course he did no such thing. He wasn’t going to spoil this moment, so he grinned widely instead, and said, “Sure, H. I’d love to! What should I bring?” 

“Just yourself, babe. There’ll be plenty for all, I promise, but then again, I guess you could bring some beer if you want!” and with a further friendly slap on the shoulder, H returned to his desk, glad to have elicited such an enthusiastic response from the young Guide. 

Blair looked up and caught Jim’s eye across the bullpen, and for once he was eager to reconnect with his Sentinel, and not just because the Guide within needed it. And as he quickly crossed the room to Jim’s side, he was struck by the affection and approval in Jim’s eyes, which was for him and him alone. 

And as for Jim, he couldn’t be happier. Could this be the first step towards achieving a proper Sentinel and Guide / Jim and Blair relationship at last? He certainly hoped so.  


\--------------------------------  


A few minutes later saw Jim and Blair in Simon’s office, preparing to link under the kindly but watchful eyes of Joel, who was standing in as Blair’s ‘chaperone’ in Simon’s continuing absence. Seated opposite each other, but with knees touching in their now customary position, both men leaned forward enough to clasp hands and touch foreheads as they sought reconnection. However, on this occasion Jim was surprised to feel something different. Something he hadn’t expected from his jittery Guide despite his own vague and formless hopes. 

Normally during their daily reconnection, Blair would briefly touch his Sentinel’s mind with a gentle, almost shy caress, accepting the offered shielding and comfort he needed to repair his mental barriers without intruding into Jim’s thoughts. He also endured the bigger man’s touch and physical imprinting with commendable stoicism, as long as it was superficial and non-sexual, knowing that Jim needed the input to ground his senses. Nevertheless, as soon as the pair had given and received sufficient mutual support to keep them going for a while longer, Blair would withdraw and shut down their link. Not roughly, but firmly; resolutely cutting off any further attempt to share more of himself than he was prepared to give. 

This time, however, Jim felt a slight ‘push’ against his mind, which opened eagerly to allow Blair’s diffident request to explore a little. The smaller man’s brief but subtle glimpse into Jim’s thoughts and emotions only lasted a few moments, but was enough for Blair to form a satisfactory impression of his Sentinel’s opinion of his Guide and partner. And in the interest of fairness, he allowed Jim a similar glimpse into his own mind, fighting determinedly against his instinctive desire to shut down immediately. Enough was enough for a first attempt though, and far too soon in Jim’s view, Blair carefully withdrew. 

Yet as Blair gently pulled away and sat back in his seat, Jim was delighted to note the difference in Blair’s demeanour this time. The young Guide’s expression was warm and contemplative rather than brittle and closed, and his usual residual nervousness was mostly lacking. The steady gaze that met Jim’s was both curious and almost affectionate, and Jim truly believed that his Guide had come to some sort of conclusion – had made a breakthrough within his own mind and decided to work through his fears. 

And if that was the case, then Jim knew he would do anything to help convince his Guide that they had a chance for real success. It was more important than ever now that he control his primal instincts so as not to damage the delicate rapport they were beginning to enjoy. 

As for Blair, he had been pleasantly surprised by the tenderness and compassion Jim had sent through their link, knowing instinctively that the Sentinel meant him no harm, in this instance, at least. Certainly Jim couldn’t have disguised his need to protect and cherish the Guide even if he’d wanted to, but Blair felt loved rather than threatened. Now if only he could believe that this was the norm rather than an exception to it, just maybe they had a chance to reconcile properly. 

But there was no way he was going to rush things. He couldn’t risk being hurt again, so he was going to take this one step at a time. He was happy to throw Jim a bone and try to take working with him to a higher level, but it would be on his terms as much as possible. And he wasn’t even going to consider the sexual aspect, because that would set him back again without a doubt. Having said that, he realised that he had to start trusting the big man at some point, and now was as good a time as any to begin. Taking a deep, cleansing breath he took his courage in both hands and offered Jim a small smile as he murmured, “So, Jim. Are you following up on the Arnold case today? Because if you want, perhaps I could ride with you to the crime scene? You know, take another look without any distractions?” 

And an overjoyed Jim beamed at him, nodding eagerly. “Sure, Chief! That would be great. You happy to use my truck?” and on receiving Blair’s only slightly tentative nod of assent, he held out his hand to help the smaller man to his feet. 

With a word of thanks to Joel, the two men left the Captain’s office to grab their coats, and Joel was pleased to note that Blair didn’t appear to be unduly concerned about the possessive hand Jim placed at the small of his back as they exited the bullpen. 

Perhaps everything was going to work out for the MCU Sentinel and Guide partnership after all. 

Good man as he was, he prayed that it was so.  


\---------------------------------  


**Saturday afternoon:**  


Humming to himself, Blair drove towards H’s place which was located in one of Cascade’s quiet suburbs, a six pack of Coors beside him on the front passenger seat. Although he personally preferred micro brews, he was unsure of what the MCU gang drank, so decided on something to suit general tastes this time around. In truth, he felt both excited and slightly nervous, and a tiny voice inside tried to whisper that he was making a big mistake trying to integrate with macho cops, and that he had only been invited as an afterthought because H was too polite to exclude him. However, he determinedly shoved the niggling thought aside, and concentrated on calming and centring himself as he pulled up in the street outside the pleasant, single story ranch-style property. 

Throughout the drive, he remained completely oblivious to the surreptitious ‘tail’ he had acquired, as his over-protective Sentinel followed at a discreet distance, unwilling to let his Guide out of his sight. In actual fact, Jim had been feeling antsy from the moment he woke up, and had been quietly watching out for Blair all morning. Yes, he did feel guilty about the whole ‘stalking’ issue, but he still felt constrained to watch out for his Guide and make sure he arrived at his destination safe and sound. And he also had no intention of leaving him alone, even if common sense told him that Blair would be perfectly safe in the company of the MCU gang. 

Unaware of all this deviousness on his behalf, Blair walked up the path to H’s front door, a wide smile on his face hiding the faint jitters within. It opened before he could knock, and a beaming H stepped forward and engulfed him in a bear hug. “Hey, Hairboy! Come in, come in, my man! Everyone’s here except for Jim, so come and make yourself at home!” 

His smile widening even further, and struck by a feeling of relief mingled with happiness, Blair allowed himself to be towed through the house to the back yard, where the other guests were already making inroads into the beer and snacks on offer. A super-fast ‘scan’ informed the empath within him that all the emotions he could read were genuinely non-threatening and welcoming and he was good to go. 

“Hey, it’s great to be here, H! And thanks again for asking me. I brought along some Coors, so I hope that’s OK?” 

“That’s fine, babe. Every contribution gratefully accepted,” chuckled his host, and Blair soon found himself surrounded by Megan, Joel, Simon and Rafe, while the other guests nodded agreeably or waved to him and added their greetings. A beer was thrust into his hand, and he was off and running, intent on thoroughly enjoying himself and allowing his natural congeniality free rein. 

A short while later, Jim knocked on the door, having allowed himself a few extra minutes before announcing his arrival to dispel any lingering suspicions that he was tracking his Guide, even if it was actually true. He didn’t want Blair to feel hunted in any way, even if his intentions were honourable enough this time. He was pleasantly surprised at the genial greetings and goodwill directed towards him, and put himself out to make nice with his colleagues; something which surprised and impressed most of them no end since it was highly unlikely that any of them had experienced Jim at his best. Now, however, he smiled and chatted, unconsciously charming his listeners, who began to re-think their opinion of their aloof and acerbic Sentinel. Simon and Joel, who knew Jim better than most, weren’t surprised to see this softer side of their friend, but both were glad that Ellison apparently saw fit to make an effort for once, and both quietly agreed that it was almost certainly down to Blair’s beneficial influence. 

When Blair spotted Jim, he made his way over to him, a friendly grin on his attractive face. Jim was struck anew by the other man’s beauty, the huge blue eyes sparkling in real pleasure, a delicate flush pinking his cheeks, and the lush lips stretched wide to reveal even white teeth. 

“Hey, Jim, man! I thought you’d changed your mind about coming! I’m glad to see you, man. This is great, huh?” and he waved his arm exuberantly to encompass the whole gathering. 

Jim couldn’t help but grin affectionately at his Guide’s innocent happiness. “Yeah, you’re right, Chief. H throws a good party, doesn’t he? 

“Um, look. Before the food starts arriving, do you want to link for a moment? Nothing dramatic, but just to give us our daily top-up?” 

And for once Blair didn’t demur, as he knew Jim would never deliberately indulge in overt PDAs or worse in public. “Sure, Jim. Shall we just move over there for a minute?” and he indicated a quieter spot at the bottom of the yard where a garden bench was presently unoccupied. 

Nodding his assent with no little relief, Jim casually draped his arm around Blair’s shoulders, and they made their way to the seat, unconcerned with the few knowing but not unfriendly glances that followed them. To their MCU colleagues, the superficial bonding process was no big deal, and they were quite blasé about it; an attitude for which both Sentinel and Guide had cause to be very grateful. 

It didn’t take long for their connection to be made, and the link and physical proximity was enough to provide grounding for Jim while he in turn was able to shore up Blair’s empathic barriers enough for the occasion and for some while after. Returning to the party, they were reabsorbed into the conversation as if nothing was out of the ordinary, and the conviviality continued well into the evening. 

For the most part, once he had ‘done the rounds’, so to speak, Jim was content to watch from the side-lines, burger and beer in hand, while Blair continued to circulate, working his magic and charming everyone in sight. Eventually, however, the party began to wind up, and people started to drift away, calling out their thanks to H and wishing him a happy birthday for the following day. Deciding it was time to make tracks; Blair approached him and gave him a spontaneous hug, which was returned in kind. “Thanks, man. Great BBQ, and great company. Have a good one tomorrow, H!” 

“You got it, babe, and thanks for coming. And thanks for persuading Jimbo to come too,” H added cheerfully, sending the listening Sentinel an approving grin. 

Chuckling in response, Jim offered him a sardonic smirk and mock salute, before turning to escort Blair to the door. “Yeah, thanks H. Happy birthday!” he called over his shoulder, and was touched by the happy smile his words elicited on the other man’s genial features. Perhaps he should make more of an effort to be sociable in future after all. Especially since he already knew that his Guide was very much a party animal, given the chance. 

“So, Chief, are you OK to drive home, or should I call you a cab?” he asked, knowing full well that Blair had only actually had two or three beers at the most during the whole afternoon and evening. 

“I’m good, man, but thanks for asking,” Blair grinned up at him. “So, see you tomorrow at the Sentinel and Guide Unit?” he continued, referring to their regular daily reconnecting session. 

“Sure thing, Chief. See you there,” and Jim turned to go, hiding a knowing smile, since he fully intended to follow Blair home again and see him safely to his door.  


\-------------------------------  


**Sunday Morning, Rainier’s Sentinel and Guide Unit:**  


It was a somewhat frazzled Jim who turned up at the Sentinel and Guide Unit on Sunday morning, having endured an extremely restless night. After the success of H’s BBQ, he would have expected to feel much more relaxed, but that hadn’t been the case at all. Surreptitiously tailing Blair back to his apartment, Jim had felt an unexpected surge of jealousy and need when his Guide had entered, even though his rational self knew there was no reason for it. Blair had already told him that Marcus was apparently no longer pining after him, and was dating one of their mutual friends, but that didn’t assuage his building anger as he heard the friendly exchange of greetings that marked Blair’s arrival. The Guide should be coming home with him; to his territory; not hanging out with some gay couple, however friendly they might be. It had taken a huge amount of effort to force himself to drive back to the loft, and once there, he had had to resort to beating off in the shower to relieve his sexual tension, guiltily clutching a hair tie Blair had given him to help with grounding his senses and feeling lower than pond scum for doing it. A night of troubled dreams had followed, such that by morning, he was both antsy and exhausted. Not a good combination to bring to their bonding session. 

Opening the door to the Unit’s suite of offices, it was all Jim could do to paste on a strained smile and force a polite response through gritted teeth when the pretty receptionist greeted him. He knew full well that he hadn’t fooled her any, but was too stressed to care as he walked over to the room he and Blair usually used for their supervised platonic reconnection. He was actually quite relieved to find that it was empty, grateful for the opportunity to try to relax a little alone before his Guide arrived, with whoever would be sitting in with them today. 

After a few minutes soaking up the room’s muted and sentinel-friendly environment, Jim began to feel marginally better, and was able to adopt a reasonably calm outward demeanour by the time Blair arrived, peeping around the door to grin a little sheepishly at his Sentinel. 

“Um, hi, Jim. Sorry I’m a bit late. I…um…overslept some. Marcus and Alan have agreed to tie the knot – in a civil ceremony anyway – and they wanted to celebrate. You OK?” 

Jim regarded his Guide carefully, aware that there was something more than a little tardiness bothering the young man, but he forced himself not to snap back as he was tempted to do. 

“That’s OK, Chief. I guess that’s good news, then, even if it does seem a bit sudden? For your friends, that is. When’s the happy occasion?” 

Grinning with relief, Blair entered fully and closed the door behind him as he replied. “Not sure yet, Jim, but I suspect it’ll be during the Christmas break. I’ve got a feeling they’ll want to jet off to somewhere warm. Maybe they’ll even go to Hawaii. After all, they could marry legally there, couldn’t they? They both seem to think that this is the real deal. True love, and all that.” 

As he spoke, he approached Jim slowly, and only then did Jim register that Blair was alone, and gazing at him somewhat anxiously. 

“You OK, Chief? You look worried. Hasn’t your chaperone turned up?” 

Wringing his hands, Blair paused a second before answering, and the expression in his eyes begged for understanding as he almost babbled his response. “Um, well, I thought that maybe it was time I tried to do without a supervisor, you know? I mean, I’m supposed to be an adult after all and you’ve never tried anything on since that first time, and we seem to be working OK together, don’t we?” The appeal in his voice for reassurance worked to defuse much of Jim’s own tension, and he was able to smile gently in recognition of the courage his Guide was exhibiting in spite of his obvious nervousness. 

“Breathe, Chief! It’s OK. If you’re sure, Chief – Blair – then I should be honoured. And I swear it won’t be any different from what we already do, OK?” 

And a relieved and smiling Blair stepped up closer, the trust implicit in his movements touching Jim’s soul as he stretched out a welcoming hand. 

Seated across from each other in their normal position, Jim gently grasped the hands Blair held out to him, and taking his time, he leaned forward until their foreheads touched. Despite the burning impatience within trying to break free and take what was his, Jim determinedly contained himself. There was no way he was going to blow this opportunity – to destroy the tentative trust Blair had worked so hard to build between them. Carefully, oh so carefully he released one of his Guide’s hands, and raised his own to gently cup the back of Blair’s neck beneath the shining curls which today fell freely down to and around his shoulders – a true sensual delight for the almost mesmerised Sentinel. With exquisite care, Jim moved his head slightly to breathe deeply of the scent behind Blair’s ear; the addictive aroma only slightly marred by the overlying taint of nervousness that the young Guide was plainly trying so hard to control. Jim could both see and feel the tiny tremors rippling through the compact body, even as he heard the racing heartbeat within his Guide’s chest, but Blair didn’t withdraw at all, just breathed through his fear as he gamely sought his centre. He didn’t even flinch when Jim allowed himself the tiniest lick at the delicate skin of his Guide’s neck, the taste of Blair bursting on his tongue like the most delicious banquet. 

Imprinting complete, it was time to link, and Jim opened his mind to Blair, inviting him in. He was praying that it would be at least as good as the previous time when Blair had instigated the session, and firmly told himself that if Blair opened to him, he wouldn’t allow his darker side to emerge and frighten the young man again, however hard it was to hold back. This was a critical moment in the development of their future relationship, and he was determined that it wouldn’t founder through any fault of his. 

Sure enough, Blair opened his link to Jim, and shyly accepted the Sentinel’s invitation to enter. As usual, his lack of confidence prevented him from giving his empathy free rein, but he could and did touch upon the most easily accessible of Jim’s thoughts and emotions. And was profoundly relieved to find that Jim was managing to contain his primal instincts and control the Sentinel within, even though hyper-alert, and was instead sending out nothing but comforting and loving thoughts to the wary Guide. 

As for Jim, when he gently entered Blair’s mind, he curbed his desire to push any further than he was welcome, concentrating instead on what he was allowed to see. And what he saw amazed him. Although Blair was plainly conflicted in his reactions to and emotions concerning their partnership, he was also bravely trying to overcome his firmly entrenched fears in order to accept Jim as partner and friend as opposed to simply his designated – or perhaps even pre-destined - Sentinel. The revelation touched Jim so deeply that on this occasion he was the one who withdrew first, unwilling to risk straining the rapport they had already achieved. 

Sitting back in their seats, they regarded each other with no little awe and wonder. This was the best yet, and neither one of them wanted to break the spell. 

However, just moments later, a soft knock on the door announced the arrival of one of the Sentinel and Guide Unit’s regular staff members, who was duty-bound to check in on them. Although Mike Naismith had no desire to intrude unnecessarily, this particular pair’s history dictated his actions, and it was incumbent on him to make sure that nothing untoward had occurred during the bonding session. Jim understood where the man was coming from, and indeed respected the unit’s staff’s diligence, but he still resented the abrupt return to what passed for normality in their everyday existence. 

Blair once more resumed his usual outgoing and affable, though slightly unreachable persona, and Jim reluctantly assumed that of the stoic cop, and the new level of understanding they had touched upon faded once again from sight even if it was not completely forgotten; safely tucked away deep in their individual subconscious.  


\-------------------------------------  


**Part 3: Trial and Error:**  


**Jim:**  


Although one would have expected the partnership to have improved and blossomed ever more rapidly in the weeks following that first successful, unsupervised bonding, if anything, the opposite appeared to be happening, and both partners were at a loss as to how to remedy the situation. Individually, they had assumed that a turning point had been reached, and were glad of it, but both then found that they now needed so much more – more than one of them at least was prepared to give. 

Although they were working even more closely together during Blair’s hours at the PD, and their overall success rate was most definitely improving by leaps and bounds, there was a new, brittle quality to their interactions which was almost as difficult for them to bear – and for their friends to observe - as the wariness that had bedevilled the early days of their relationship. They both found themselves struggling to keep up a polite façade, the nascent camaraderie they had achieved fading away to be replaced by an increasingly strained and impersonal partnership. They knew that their friends and colleagues both at the PD and at Rainier were looking on in growing concern, but matters continued to deteriorate despite their best efforts. 

As far as Jim the MCU detective was concerned, when Blair wasn’t there to ground him and moderate his behaviour, he retreated into his previous unsociable persona, his temper ever shorter as he fought against a growing compulsion to take his Guide and mark him as his own. He knew very well that something would have to give, but he still didn’t want to hurt Blair after all the progress they had made. It was simply that the inner Sentinel cried out for physical release. They had arrived at the critical point in their bonding journey where they could no longer ignore the final, necessary act which would bind them together as one of the strongest pairings seen in decades in the Pacific North West, if not the whole of North America. The sexual tension between them was growing daily, and Jim knew he was close to breaking point. Not for them a gentle, permanent platonic union. Their individual strengths determined that theirs should be a proper merge – two halves of one soul whether they wanted it or not; a remorseless train of events set in motion by that first, primal joining. 

Even the most casual observer in Major Crimes could tell that Jim was suffering physically as well as mentally. At home, his thoughts revolved continuously around his Guide, his perfect sense-memory recalling every nuance and detail of the young man’s addictive scent and body and fuelling his burning need to take and possess. The urge was so strong that he was beating off more and more, and hating himself even while he took the temporary relief it offered. He couldn’t sleep without dreams of sex with Blair, more often than not of the nightmare variety with Jim raping his Guide again and again. His appetite was gone, and he had to force himself to eat when he needed it. The only respite he had was when Blair arrived at the PD, and they could link with and offer comfort to one other. But even that was tempered with a new strain now, new mental barriers firmly back in place for pure self-protection, and Jim wasn’t so self-centred that he couldn’t see that Blair was desperately unhappy too. Finally, Simon could stand it no more, and called Jim into his office. 

Once Jim was seated, slumped inelegantly in his chair, which in itself was such a far cry from his normal, almost feline grace, Simon poured the two of them mugs of fresh coffee and sat down opposite his detective and friend. 

“OK, Jim. Let’s have it. You look like shit, man, and you plainly need some proper sleep. What’s gone wrong between you and Blair, and what can I do to help? You can’t go on like this, and neither can he. I thought you two were doing so well.” 

The now almost permanent frown lines on Jim’s forehead deepened further in irritation as he prepared to tell his boss in no uncertain terms to butt out and mind his own business. However, one glance up into the troubled dark eyes that met his with such sympathy abruptly changed his mind. Sighing deeply, he thought fleetingly that this was like the worst sort of déjà vu. How often had he sat here in similar circumstances, and how often had he had cause to be grateful for his captain’s friendship and support? Lips thinning in a self-deprecating grimace, he glanced away for a moment before turning to face Simon again. 

“I’m sorry, sir. It’s not that I don’t appreciate your concern – I do. Very much so. But I don’t know how to explain what’s going on with me and Blair without breaking confidence with him. I _think_ I know what’s wrong, and I’m pretty sure he knows too. He is the expert after all. But he has so much more to lose than I do, and I can’t ask it of him. 

“Trouble is, I don’t know how long I can hold off. And it’s slowly killing me.” 

There was no hint of self-pity in the statement, and Simon couldn’t help but be impressed by his subordinate’s candour, but there was no way he was going to see either man fade away on his watch without doing his best to help them over their difficulties. 

“So what you’re saying is that the level of bonding you’ve already achieved isn’t enough after all, huh? Don’t look so surprised, Jim. I do have some knowledge of how Sentinels and Guides interact, after all. Remember my cousin? He wasn’t as talented as you, but he still needed a Guide. A real one, not just a platonic working partner. 

“It’s the sex, isn’t it? You need it, and the primal Sentinel in you needs it, especially as you’ve already tasted it. I’m right, aren’t I? And I’m guessing that Blair needs it too, but doesn’t want to admit it. Once bitten, and all that.” 

Under other circumstances, the look of astonishment and admiration on Jim’s face might have been comical, but right then Simon could only be grateful that his friend apparently wasn’t either affronted or incensed by his words, and by extension, he knew he had hit the nail on the head. 

After a long moment, a small, rueful grin twisted Jim’s lips, and he nodded slowly. “Guess that’s why they pay you the big bucks, eh, Simon? It’s not just the leadership; it’s about understanding your people too. Even the awkward ones! And because of that, I truly mean it when I say how much I appreciate how patient you’ve been, even though I’m guessing that you’re getting near your limit. It can’t be easy for you to deal with a Sentinel and Guide pair as dysfunctional as us, huh?” 

“You’re right there, Jim. But you’re my friend as well as my subordinate, and I’ve grown fond of Blair too. I mean, what’s not to like, even if he is a bit flaky at times. But you’re also right in that this state of affairs can’t go on, for either of your sakes, and for the sake of the department. Yes, your results are improving daily, and I can’t deny how good that makes my stats look. Cascade MCU’s rep is flourishing and the Mayor, the Chief and the Commissioner are all rubbing their hands in glee, but the unit’s morale is suffering again. Your colleagues were on the point of accepting you as a real friend and comrade when Blair started to work his magic on you, but now it’s gone pear-shaped again, and they don’t know what to make of you. Some of them understand, and even sympathise, but others are just pissed off at you and your mood swings. And heaven help you if you ever threaten Blair in their presence!” 

“I know, Captain. I know,” Jim sighed resignedly. “For what it’s worth, the hardest thing for me to bear is the knowledge that I have it in me to hurt him again, and that’s not going to happen. I’d take dampeners or get myself committed rather than let that beast in me loose again, but that in itself won’t help Blair. I think he’s in an even worse situation than I am. He knows what he needs, but thanks to me, he’s terrified of asking for it. And I’ve already sworn not to force him ever again.” 

Leaning forward in his seat, Simon rested his elbows on the desktop and propped his chin on his linked fingers, his gaze intense as he contemplated his friend for a long moment. Eventually, he sat back, nodding to himself as he made his decision, and also praying that he was doing the right thing by both Sentinel and Guide and by his department. 

“OK, Jim. I appreciate your honesty, and this is what I suggest. I can make it an order if I have to, but I’d rather you see it as a request by a friend who cares. A concerned friend who wants to do the best thing for all of us. 

“I want you to take some time off, and I want both you and Blair to go see the counsellors at the Sentinel and Guide Unit. They’ll probably want to see you singly as well as together, and I want you both to try and work with them. I know they have a good rep, and I’m praying that some objective, expert advice will help crystallise the situation for you both and help you come to some mutual arrangement. You can leave as soon as Blair arrives, and I won’t take ‘no’ for an answer from him either. Take as long as you need, but come back fixed. 

“Do you agree?” 

And what else could Jim do but accept? Right now he’d try anything. It couldn’t make the situation any worse, and might even help. He just hoped that his Guide would see it in the same light.  


\---------------------------------  


**Blair:**  


Seated in his cubby hole of an office that same morning, an exhausted Blair dropped his head in his hands and sighed deeply; waiting for the supplementary dose of meds he just swallowed to take effect. Yes, he was due to go to the PD later on, but the way he was feeling now he couldn’t wait until he linked with Jim to rescue him from the throbbing pain in his head, and there was no way he was going to run to his Sentinel like a pathetic wuss in advance of their arranged hour. He was still his own person with his own life to lead, or so he told himself, and that was how he wished to remain. 

And if the niggling voice in his head told him he was just fooling himself, he determinedly chose to ignore it. 

Jim had certainly had the right of it when he told Simon that Blair was suffering too, and probably even worse than Jim himself. Ever since the remarkable platonic bonding session at the Sentinel and Guide Unit, Blair had been devastated to find that rather than improving, things began to go downhill for both partners, and for him the downward spiral was accelerating on a daily basis. He tried to overcome his conflicted thoughts and impulses by working even harder both at Rainier and at the PD, trying to deny and quash the ever more persistent inner voices that whispered temptingly in his ear by running himself into the ground in exhaustion, but the nights brought their own form of torment. If Jim was suffering from dreams of raping his Guide over and over again, Blair’s dreams were a confusing mix of himself both as victim and willing participant, and he simply couldn’t resolve the conflict within. As an open-minded, liberal person, he had never had a problem with homosexuality, even if he had never yet had any real desire to experiment in that direction. He had plenty of gay friends – witness Marcus and Alan – but women attracted him more, and in truth were less threatening for him, so he had dated them pretty much exclusively from the moment when puberty struck him and woke up his impressive libido. In an attempt to reassure himself that his recent urges were just a fleeting and temporary aberration; a natural reaction thrown up as a result of the relatively short time he – and Jim – had had to explore the intricacies of the bond; he had tried to date again on occasion. Finding a willing partner in one of the Anthropology Department’s TAs; a fellow student with whom he had always been friendly, and who had made no secret of the fact that she wanted his body as well as his mind; he had done his best to enjoy their encounters. Marcie Lewinski had undoubtedly done so, her smug and satisfied smile as she sprawled languidly on her tangled sheets ample proof of his expertise, but for the first time he could remember, Blair wanted more. 

Yes, he had always been at pains to make sure that any woman he bedded enjoyed herself, honestly believing that since he was no great catch it was up to him to do most of the work, but until now he had usually savoured the moment also. But here he was, having reached completion, and having thoroughly explored Marcie’s ample curves and invitingly warm, secret places, thinking instead about ice-blue eyes, smooth, taut muscles, six-packs and broad shoulders. 

Goddess! He had never even seen Jim in any state of undress, but his vivid imagination easily supplied the information, especially when he recalled how the Sentinel’s biceps or muscular back felt under his hand when he had need to ground him through touch. It was wrong. It couldn’t be. He was fantasising about the man who raped him – who at the time had been acting on pure instinct, and probably wasn’t even normally bi, let alone gay. How could he possibly justify this dramatic change in sexual orientation? 

No, it was just a passing phase. Nothing to get overly concerned about. It would soon be gone and forgotten as their partnership developed and matured. 

But he knew he was fooling himself. His intellect and hard-won knowledge wouldn’t be denied, and where did that leave him? Panicked, confused and at breaking point, that’s where. And he knew he had to talk to someone about it, and that someone was Eli. If anyone could help him work things through, it was his old friend, mentor and surrogate father-figure. 

Decision made, he stood and knocked on the connecting door to Eli’s more impressive office, dredging up a strained smile as he entered at the older professor’s invitation. Time to come clean. 

Seated in front of his friend in one of Eli’s comfortable overstuffed chairs, Blair squirmed slightly as he was treated to a few minutes’ shrewd contemplation. Eli’s expression contained nothing but sympathy and concern, and a quick empathic ‘read’ assured Blair that his presence was welcome even if the reason for it was less so. After a while, Eli sat back, a gentle, if rather sad smile on his kindly face. 

“So, my boy. It’s finally come to the crunch, hasn’t it? I know it’s something your friends and colleagues have been expecting for a while now, but that doesn’t make it any easier for you, does it? 

“Where would you like to begin, Blair? I promise you there’s nothing you can tell me that will make me any less fond of you, and maybe I can even offer you some words of advice. But mostly I think you just need a sounding board. Someone who will hear you out without derogatory or unnecessary comment, am I right?” 

Greatly relieved, Blair nodded in assent, a grim smile pulling at his lush lips. “You’re so right, Eli. That’s just what I need, and I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to admit it. I just thought that I could work through everything on my own like I usually do, but for sure this is bigger than anything I’ve ever experienced before. And I can’t do it alone. I realise that now, same as I know everyone’s been waiting for me to go into full melt-down, and I’m this close,” and he held up his hand with thumb and forefinger just fractionally apart to demonstrate. 

“Then take your time, and start at the beginning, son. Let’s get everything out in the open, mull it all over, and just maybe you can move forward again.” 

Taking him at his word, Blair began, slowly at first, but gradually gaining speed as he poured out all his thoughts and fears. All the ambivalent feelings he was experiencing, and all the ways by which he was trying to survive with some measure of individuality intact. 

And all the ways by which he was failing dismally, leaving him exhausted, confused and scared. Scared of what he was becoming, and scared both for and of Jim. 

He tried to rationalise his actions, analysing the last few weeks in a clinical, academic fashion, but could tell that Eli was no more convinced than he was himself that it could be explained away or remedied in those terms. He was too deeply involved to take an objective stance and he knew it. 

He confessed that his newly-discovered desire for another man was deeply disturbing; totally unexpected even if not a cause for disgust; and not helped by living in close proximity to a loving, sexually active gay couple in Marcus and Alan. And he also confessed shamefacedly that not even the considerable attributes of Marcie Lewinski held the same allure for him anymore. 

“So, Eli,” he murmured, finally winding down. “What can I do? Can I fix this so that both Jim and I don’t suffer any longer?” 

Eli paused for a moment before responding, wanting to offer the best advice he could come up with for his troubled young friend. He had indeed been deeply disturbed by what he had heard. But although he had believed that he was well aware of Blair’s difficulties as evidenced by the young man’s increasingly manic lifestyle, like most of his other colleagues he had had no concept of the true extent of those problems. 

Finally, he sat forward and pinned Blair with a compelling but sympathetic gaze, and began. He knew that what he was about to say would cause Blair pain, but he also truly believed that it was the best and only way forward. He was well aware of the old adage ‘the truth always hurts’, but in this case no good could come of sweetening the pill. Blair needed to have the facts confirmed to him. Facts he already knew, but was trying to deny. And if it infuriated his former student, then so be it. Eli was sure that he knew Blair well enough to believe that the young man’s ire and indignation wouldn’t last for long. He was far too good a person for that, and indeed most of that ire and indignation would most likely be self-directed rather than at Eli. 

“Well, dear boy, I have to say that you’ve managed to shock me. I thought I understood what you’ve been going through, but I admit that I had no idea just how difficult your life has become. And now I’m going to upset you even more, I dare say, because there’s no point in me offering platitudes. I’m going to simply state what I believe, without sugar-coating, and trust that you know I’ve only got your welfare at heart, all right?” 

When Blair nodded a little dubiously, his expression betraying his trepidation as well as a good measure of grim determination, Eli continued. 

“You and I both know that the strongest Sentinel and Guide bonds are those entailing full and regularly performed sexual activity. We have been privileged to study several such pairs at close quarters, both indigenous and ‘westernised’, and have never questioned the gender of those pairs, whether same sex or not. We, like the majority of people who are aware of the phenomenon have simply accepted the view that compatible partners would find each other and act accordingly and instinctively, have we not? And now, dear boy, you’ve had that concept brought home to you in the most traumatic way, and my heart bleeds for you, truly. 

“But what’s done is done, and you cannot try and deny it any longer. Through no fault of your own, unless one considers being so very talented, and so attractive to a feral Sentinel a ‘fault’, you have become a victim of circumstance. But the time is long passed to try and find an alternative ‘fix’. Your dual existence simply isn’t working, dear boy. Your teaching is suffering despite your relentless application and effort, simply because the spark is gone, and the stress and strain in both body and soul are plain to see. Your students are so concerned for you personally that the information you’re trying to get through to them is often wasted. And while I have no real concept of what your work at the PD actually entails, I’m certain that Detective Ellison must be suffering also through not getting the support to which he is entitled. 

“You can’t go on like this, dear boy, or you’re going to have a complete nervous breakdown, and you’ll take your Sentinel down with you. Can you really live with that? 

“It’s not fair, I know. It’s such a lot to ask of you; you who had your own life to lead and such ambitions for your future. But believe me when I say that I shall always be here for you, Blair. I shall support whatever you choose to do. But I dearly hope that you will do the right thing, and in doing so, perhaps you will find that a life as a bonded Guide has its compensations. Don’t give up on yourself, Blair. And don’t give up on Jim either. He may well yet surprise you.” 

In truth, Blair had expected Eli to offer his honest opinion without frills or excuses, but hearing the facts stated so baldly was still very hard to bear. He had come here for sound advice, and that was what he had received, but the small child within still cried out for someone to hold him close and tell him that everything was going to be OK. As for the rest of him, all his hurt and resentment bubbled to the surface again, and he was hard put not to scream out his fury at his friend. But seconds later, the blazing anger subsided, to be replaced by reason and dull resignation. Eli only wanted the best or him, and didn’t deserve Blair’s rage. 

Scrubbing at his face with both hands, Blair took several deep, cleansing breaths before looking up to meet Eli’s worried gaze. 

“It’s OK, Eli,” he began in a voice deep and cracking with suppressed emotion. “Thank you for listening, and for the advice. I guess I expected the general gist of it, but still hoped for a miracle. Stupid, huh? But at least you’ve helped me to clarify my thoughts. I needed someone to tell it like it is, and you certainly did that. 

“But if you don’t mind, I’ll leave you in peace. I need to get to the PD, and I need to think,” and with a sad smile, he took his leave, fighting a sudden urge to cry like a baby as he was forced to face up to the next stage in his problematical existence. 

Staring at the closed door once his young friend had made his escape, Eli felt like tears himself. It was so unfair that such a bright and happy young man should be forced to make the most of an almost impossible situation not of his own making, but life was never fair. It was to be hoped that his statement regarding Ellison’s potential wasn’t wishful thinking, and that the big cop really could learn to appreciate the gift of Blair Sandburg the man, and not just the Guide.  


\----------------------------------------  


When Blair arrived in the bullpen a short while later, with the best will in the world he was unable to disguise his very real distress. Jim had sensed his hurt and upset from the moment he had stepped into the elevator in the underground parking lot, and was ready and waiting to whisk his Guide away to the empty conference room where they usually linked now, no longer needing to be under Simon’s watchful gaze. However, even as he gathered Blair up to usher him towards their chosen location, he was aware of the shocked murmurs from Megan and Joel as they caught sight of Blair’s pained expression. 

“Bloody hell, Joel, did you see Sandy’s face? Geez, he looks like someone ran over his puppy! D’you think Jimbo’s upset him again? Poor little sod!” 

Shaking his head in consternation, Joel answered, “I don’t think so, Megs. At least, not intentionally. He’s been here all morning after all, and in with Simon most of that time. Let’s play it by ear, and see what happens when they’ve finished reconnecting.” 

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right, Joel. I know we shouldn’t try and get between Sentinel and Guide. But I can’t help feeling protective of Sandy. He’s such a kind-hearted soul, and doesn’t deserve Ellison’s crap.” 

Jim tuned out any further comment as he guided Blair over to his usual seat, closing the door behind them and engaging the ‘occupied’ sign to ensure they weren’t disturbed, even though the other occupants of the bullpen were well aware of the reason for Jim and Blair’s presence there. It was obvious that Blair was far more stressed than normal, and Jim didn’t want today to be the day when someone forgot about their need for privacy. After all, he was certain that Blair was going to be even more upset when he heard what Simon had planned for them. 

Seating himself, he took Blair’s hands and met the wounded blue gaze, his own discomfort forgotten as he studied the hurting young man intently. Pain and fear were writ large on the attractive features, but the tremors shaking the compact body were as much from anger as anxiety. Blair had had some sort of deeply disturbing experience very recently, and Jim was determined to learn the cause even if it proved hurtful for him also. 

“Link with me, Blair. I can tell you’re in real pain, and not just from fraying barriers. Let me help you.” His words were spoken in a gentle tone in contrast to their commanding content, but Blair still flinched in response. 

“Don’t push me, Jim. Not now. I can’t – won’t – try to explain yet. I’m too angry and upset, OK? So let’s just keep this really basic, man. I don’t want to open to you this time. You won’t like what you see.” 

Jim recoiled at the depth of emotion expressed in both Blair’s voice and body language, a frown creasing his forehead as his lips thinned in irritation at the rebuff. His first impulse was to shake the younger man until his teeth rattled in an attempt to force an explanation out of him, but he quickly suppressed that thought. Blair could easily discern his anger, and now wasn’t the time to upset him even more than he already was. Patience had never been Jim’s strongest suit, but he knew he had to exercise it now or they would both suffer the consequences. 

“OK, Chief, if that’s the way you want it. But I expect you to tell me what’s bothering you as soon as you can. What hurts you, hurts me too, and vice versa. So, let’s do this, and then I’ll explain what Simon wants us to do this afternoon, all right?” 

Curiosity piqued despite himself, Blair nodded jerkily and sat still, allowing Jim to imprint him. His headache was already subsiding, thanks to his Sentinel’s proximity and shielding, and he carefully opened their link. But he wouldn’t let Jim into his thoughts, and made no attempt to enter Jim’s mind even though he knew the other man was perfectly willing for him to do so. And there was no hint of sexual attraction on his part this time either, because he was far too troubled. He was walking the knife-edge of control, and a slight push would send him running and screaming for help that didn’t exist. 

The basic reconnection was soon accomplished, although neither of them could claim to be truly satisfied with the result. It had served its purpose to ground senses and heal fractured empathic barriers, and that was all. And both mourned the loss of their previous rapport, even as they both recognised what the only remedy entailed. And the Guide wasn’t yet ready to submit, his fear still too intense to take that irrevocable step. 

Trying for normalcy, Blair sat back and looked quizzically over at his partner. “So, Jim. What was it you wanted to tell me? Something about Simon? Does he have another job for us?” 

“Um, no, Chief. Not this time. Look, you may as well know, I haven’t exactly been at my best for the last few weeks, and the folks in the bullpen have been complaining. I know you don’t really see it, because once you’ve arrived and we link I can relax and get on with the job. But I know I’ve been an ill-tempered bastard lately. Every bit as bad as I was before I found you. Worse, in fact, because once I got a taste of what things could be like it made me resentful, and more perverse because of it. I’m not trying to lay the blame on you, Blair, even if it sounds like it. I brought this whole thing on myself, and I admit it. 

“But I’d be lying if I said I can live with this gulf between us any longer. And Simon knows that too. So he wants us to get some counselling at the Sentinel and Guide Unit, and says we can’t come back to the PD until we’re ‘fixed’.” And the implication that ‘fixing’ meant accepting and employing the full sexual bond wasn’t lost on either of them. 

While he was speaking, Blair looked on first incredulously, then with growing rage and indignation. Soon he was literally shaking with fury, his self-control completely shot. How dare he? How _dare_ Simon dictate to him like that? He was so angry that for some moments he couldn’t even voice his resentment, his words stuck in his throat in a congealed lump of pure disbelief. Goddess! His karma must be so fucked up. He didn’t even recognise himself. It was too much. Much too much. 

For the second time that morning he wanted so much to scream and rail at the cruel hand fate had dealt him, and actually had to fight the urge to physically attack the bigger man; to pummel him with his fists until his rage was spent. And that was a concept so alien to his peace-loving nature and upbringing that he felt sickened by it. 

Forcing out his words through clenched teeth, he growled, “No! No way! How dare Banks order me to attend ‘therapy’ sessions like some pathetic head-case! Fuck, I’ve been in therapy since I was in pampers, and I can tell you for sure that I can bullshit my way through any session you can throw at me! I won’t do it! You can go if you want, but I won’t! I’ve done all the talking I intend to with Eli this morning, and I don’t want to hear another word about what everyone expects of me. It’s not fair, and I’m not staying here any longer to be pressured by you, Simon or anyone else.” 

Although Jim genuinely sympathised with the distraught Guide, his own frustration and pain fuelled his growing impatience, and he felt his control on his animal instincts slipping remorselessly away. 

“You’ll do as you’re ordered, Sandburg! If Simon Banks says we go to counselling, then we go, and that’s an end to it!” The words were ground out in the tone of an angry, primal Sentinel, and the hand that reached for the young Guide took on the appearance of a claw in the smaller man’s startled gaze. A flash of real fear sparked in the wide blue eyes, and Blair whirled aside, sprinting for the door and freedom with the speed of absolute panic. The Sentinel knew that in this instance he hadn’t a chance of catching his fleeing prey, but no matter. He could wait, and when he had Sandburg in his grasp, he would make sure the Guide would never run out on his Sentinel again.  


\------------------------------------  


**Part 4: A Leap of Faith:**  


When Blair bolted from the conference room, he tore through the bullpen without pause, bursting into the corridor and crashing through the door to the stairwell, not wanting to wait for the elevator in his bid for freedom. He hurled himself down the stairs at breakneck speed, his terror fuelling his panic-stricken flight. Several times he almost came to grief, just managing to save himself by either grabbing at the handrail or bouncing off the walls, but thankfully arrived at the garage level in one piece, and better still, didn’t meet anyone going up. 

Barrelling through the door, he raced over to where his Volvo was parked; throwing himself into the driver’s seat and praying that for once the old vehicle would start without complaint. It did, and he peeled out of the garage as fast as he safely could, leaving a couple of uniforms staring after him in open-mouthed astonishment. 

A bare minute or so later, they were still gaping when the elevator arrived, disgorging a furious Detective Ellison. However, unlike Sandburg, his movements were deliberate and unhurried, although the expression on his face was cold and deadly. Crossing purposefully to his truck, he too left the garage in the wake of his fleeing prey, and the cops exchanged knowing glances. Judging by Ellison’s attitude, his weird little hippy partner was in for a world of trouble when the angry Sentinel got his hands on him again. 

Driving on autopilot, Blair hadn’t consciously thought about where he was going, he just wanted to put as much distance between him and Jim as possible. Somehow managing to manoeuvre through the downtown traffic without mishap, he found himself approaching the area where his apartment was situated, so decided it was as good a place as any to hole up until he could regain some sort of equilibrium. And if Jim came calling, he was going to make damned sure he had some backup, even if it meant calling 911. No way was the Sentinel going to get his hands on Blair again while in primal mode. In fact, the way Blair felt right now, he didn’t want Ellison touching him ever again. 

Pulling up outside his building, he hurried up the stairs to the second floor, and opened the door, a sigh of relief escaping his lips as he closed and locked it behind him. He knew it was hardly Fort Knox, but it offered a measure of safety, far more so than had his old apartment, which Ellison had entered to easily when he had taken what he wanted and started this whole mess in motion. 

However, as he moved towards the kitchen to grab a bottle of water, he was startled by a flurry of movement from the sofa in the living room, as two tousled heads popped up to gawp at him. Grinning a little bashfully, Marcus looked from Blair to his partner and back. He and Alan had plainly been making out on the sofa, and hadn’t expected to be disturbed. Not that he felt guilty in any way – it was his apartment after all – but he didn’t like to make Blair feel uncomfortable in his own home, for as long as he chose to stay, anyhow. 

“Hey, Blair, my man! I thought you were out for the day? How come you’re back so early?” His smile was friendly, but his eyes narrowed when he really took in Blair’s frazzled appearance. 

“What is it, babe? What’s happened? Are you OK? Has he hurt you?” By this time both men were on their feet, quickly tucking themselves in and straightening their dishevelled clothing, all thoughts of canoodling gone in the face of Blair’s ill-concealed distress. 

“Sorry, Marc, Alan. I didn’t mean to disturb you, and no, I’m not hurt – yet!” and he grinned unconvincingly at his friends. “I should be at the PD, I know, but we had a…um…disagreement about something. So I left.” 

“Well, it must have been quite some ‘disagreement’, hon, because you look terrible! Come and sit down and I’ll get you a drink….” 

“No, man, honestly, it’s OK,” Blair replied quickly. “I’ll just go to my room and chill for a while, OK? Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine once I’ve calmed down.” He knew he couldn’t bear to sit with his friends, knowing what they really wanted to be doing and feeling like a spare wheel. Besides, he really did need to spend some time alone, deciding what his next move should be, and for some reason he believed that Ellison wouldn’t come here for him, at least not right away. He would bide his time, and trap the Guide when he was least expected. 

Neither Marcus nor Alan looked happy, but they didn’t try to stop him, just watched him cross towards his small bedroom, their worried gazes fixed on his departing back. When the door closed behind him, they sat down again, cuddled together on the sofa. But this time their love-making had a different purpose – to comfort each other in the knowledge that their friend was hurting, and there wasn’t anything they could do about it.  


\----------------------------------  


When Blair had fled the conference room, a dramatic change had come over Jim. Yes, the primal Sentinel had definitely come to the fore, but this time his anger and determination was cold and calculating, quite unlike the burning rage that had driven him when he had stalked and kidnapped his Guide for the first time. He strode across the bullpen, ignoring everyone and everything as he focussed his hearing on Sandburg’s rapidly fading footsteps and thundering heartbeats. He certainly didn’t want the young man to fall or come to any real harm during his head-long flight, but fully intended to follow him, and when he learned of his Guide’s destination, he would decide when and where to take him. 

Despite Blair’s head start, the Sentinel quickly picked up his trail, and followed at a safe distance, grimly satisfied when the small green Volvo pulled up outside Blair’s building. But instead of accosting his Guide there and then, Jim pulled in a short distance away, and, once he was sure that Blair was safely inside, turned around and drove back to the loft, grinning fiercely as he contemplated the next few hours. He couldn’t have explained exactly how he knew, but he was certain that the Guide would come to him this time. All he had to do was sit and wait, and his patience would be rewarded. His grin became a snarl, and he let his imagination run riot, picturing their coupling and almost salivating at the thought of taking the beautiful young man again. 

This was going to be worth the wait. It was going to be such fun….  


\----------------------------  


Meanwhile, in his tiny bedroom, Blair was growing more and more distressed. There was little space to pace, but he did so anyway, describing small circles as he alternately clutched at his curls or waved his hands about as he berated himself under his breath. If he believed he had been conflicted before, now it was so much worse, and there seemed to be nothing he could do about it. He knew what his friends would be doing in the other room, and that didn’t help matters as he desperately tried to keep his imagination under control. This couldn’t be happening! Whatever Eli had said this morning, he still didn’t want to give in and throw himself at Jim’s feet. He didn’t want to submit. He didn’t _want_ to bow to the inevitable and sacrifice his hopes and dreams for the sake of becoming a Sentinel’s helpmeet. 

Or did he? 

Suddenly he felt as if he had been torn in two. Part of him – the part he still recognised – was still afraid. Still desperately trying to hang on to his individuality and the life he had always believed he wanted. But another, louder voice chanted in his head as a new, unexpected side to his personality surged forward, demanding to be heard. His fear of being sexually dominated by Jim was tempered by a growing desire on his part to reciprocate in kind. Goddess! What was happening to him? He could literally feel the heat of his rising lust. It was almost animalistic, an instinctive, visceral reaction, and he could barely control his need for completion. Even his most satisfying sexual encounter with a woman had never felt like this. Is this what Jim felt when the feral Sentinel took over? Did this mean he was feeling a similar compulsion? The compulsion of a primal Guide to mate and bond? There was only one way to find out, and he knew he was going to do it. He was going to confront Jim, and let nature take its course. He had no other choice if he wasn’t to go completely crazy. And he was angrier than he had ever been in his entire life. 

He didn’t react to his friends’ worried exclamations as he ran past them to open the door. He was too driven – his burning need too great to do anything but concentrate on getting to the loft to face up to his destiny, whatever it might turn out to be. He couldn’t take any more uncertainty. If he was going down, then he would do so with bravado, not like a whining ninny.  


\-------------------------------  


**Shortly afterwards, the loft:**  


Jim sat quietly facing the door to his apartment, the gathering gloom of early evening no hindrance to sentinel vision. He was perfectly still, only the movement of his broad and muscular chest proof that he was a living being rather than a statue. A coldly handsome statue of some minor Greek god come to earth to wreak havoc on its unsuspecting population. But beneath the icy exterior, his overwhelming desire and intentions had lost none of their potency, and the feral Sentinel was primed and ready for action. 

Finally, his patience was rewarded as he picked up the sounds of a badly-tuned engine approaching slowly down Prospect, and he smirked in grim satisfaction as he recognised Sandburg’s Volvo. The Guide was coming, just as he had expected, and the game was afoot. 

As he tracked Blair’s progress into the building and up to the third floor, he used his suddenly ultra-sharp senses to monitor his Guide, and he frowned at what he discovered. Yes, he could certainly detect fear and the sour tang of distress, but there was anger also, and he could easily make out the sub-vocal muttering as he urged himself on. 

“That’s it, Blair baby. Let’s get moving and get this show on the road. Let’s show Ellison what he’s created. A monster who’s had enough of being pushed around!” 

And then he was at the door, and Jim rose gracefully to his feet and moved to throw it open before Sandburg could even raise his hand to knock. 

Only momentarily startled, Blair drew back a little then an angry scowl creased his handsome face. 

“Guess I should have expected that, big guy. So, are you going to let me in, or do we do this out in the corridor?” he growled, fixing the Sentinel with a hard stare. 

Fascinated, Jim nodded once, and stepped backwards into the room to allow the smaller man to enter, backing off enough to give them both a little space. A frown of consternation briefly crossed his face as he studied this new version of Blair. A very different version from anything he had seen before. Yes, the Guide was scared, but he was also furiously angry, with an almost tangible hatred burning in the depths of his sparkling blue eyes. A hatred which seemed to be more self-directed than directed at Jim. 

Warily, like two jungle creatures caught unawares and preparing for potential conflict, they circled slowly, looking for weaknesses in each other’s stance. For sure, in a purely physical contest, Jim would win hands down, thanks to his superior strength and combat experience, but he could see something different in his Guide. Something not necessarily reliant on sheer muscle power. The Guide was almost glowing from some inner source of energy, enough to make Jim hold off from immediately moving in to overpower the smaller man. And then Blair began to speak, his voice compelling as he addressed both Jim and the Sentinel within. 

“I hate it, you know. I hate what you’ve done to me! I hate what I’ve become, and I know I’ll never be the same again.” His eyes flashed with fury although his distress was apparent in the emotions chasing one another in rapid succession across his mobile features, twisting his beauty into a grimace of pure despair. Voice now cracking in agony, he continued, and the Sentinel could do nothing but listen and absorb the Guide’s pain and confusion. 

“But I can’t hate you, man! I want to, but I can’t! I…I don’t really understand what’s happening to me, and I’m probably making the biggest mistake of my life, but I want you. I can’t help myself. I think you woke the primal Guide in me and I can’t fight him. I don’t want him. I would happily live my life never knowing he existed. But he does, and he won’t rest until he accepts you, and everything you are!” For a moment his eyes closed tightly as he breathed deeply, his vulnerability a sore temptation for the feral Sentinel. And yet Jim had no inclination to approach, even though his prey was there for the taking. Instead he waited in place, watching carefully as Blair opened his eyes again, and was taken aback by the fierce desire that now lit the smouldering gaze. 

And then Blair was moving; throwing himself at the bigger man, not to attack, but to cling tightly, his hands reaching up to cup the smooth planes of the Sentinel’s face as he pulled the taller man’s head down to steal a desperate kiss. 

And that was all the stimulus Jim and the Sentinel needed. With a roar of pure animal satisfaction, Jim scooped the smaller man into his arms, his nerve endings fired up and stimulated by the constant touching, kissing and biting to which Blair was subjecting every centimetre of flesh that he could reach. Marching up the stairs to his bedroom, Jim quickly deposited his burden onto the bed, only for Blair to surge up again, grasping Jim’s shirt and ripping it open with such force that buttons flew in all directions. 

Not to be outdone, Jim reciprocated by grasping his Guide’s sweater and tee at the neckline and tearing them down to the hem, pushing the remnants aside to reveal the lightly furred chest he had been fantasising about for too long. Blair was every bit as beautiful as he remembered, and he quickly set about divesting the smaller man of the remainder of his clothing even as Blair pulled and tugged at Jim’s. Soon both men were gloriously naked, and Blair paused for a moment to enjoy the spectacular view. And then he quickly flipped the bigger man over onto his back, the Sentinel – and Jim – delighted with the young man’s urgency and overt need. As Blair straddled Jim’s lean hips, he growled out his own version of feral desire and possessiveness. 

“Mine! My Sentinel! Only mine, forever!” and then they were moving frantically together, their groins rubbing and pressing in a dance as old as time, the friction between them soon lubricated and enhanced by the pre-cum that spread slickly over their straining members. There was no time for finesse. They simply devoured each other’s mouths as they moaned in need, gripping and biting until they climaxed within milliseconds of each other, and the bond burst between them in a flash of the brightest light, finally joining them as one forever as it always had and always would. Minds merged, and souls were reunited, and Sentinel and Guide knew themselves as equal halves to one whole as they always had been, and always would be. 

It was done.  


\------------------------------------  


**Epilogue: Three months later:**  


Late in the afternoon, Jim and Blair approached the bullpen, walking close together in their now customary manner, with Blair tucked snugly against the taller Jim’s side, his arm loosely wrapped around his partner’s waist as Jim’s arm draped comfortably around his shoulders. The partners were so much in sync these days that the close contact was accepted as the norm, eliciting scarcely a raised eyebrow amongst their friends and colleagues, at least within MCU. However, today they both seemed somewhat introverted and rather sad, and weren’t indulging in their usual banter, and they had good reason. 

They had just closed a particularly disturbing case involving child abduction and murder, and although they had cause for some self-congratulation and pride in their work, the nature of the crime was enough to take the shine off their achievement. Certainly it was their teamwork that had won the day since it was Jim’s sentinel senses that discovered the relevant forensic evidence, and Blair’s insight which made the appropriate connection between perp and victims, but they still felt dissatisfied. Jim knew that his Guide berated himself for not making the connection earlier, as he blamed himself for the delay in pinpointing the evidence, and no amount of reassurance and praise could convince them otherwise. 

But when all was said and done, they were working as an amazing team as far as their colleagues were concerned, and were the PD’s pride and joy. And the media’s also, truth be told, because both men were so photogenic, and obviously so perfectly integrated that unbeknown to them, they had quite the fan club developing in certain of Cascade’s social circles. A true Sentinel and Guide pair, who had, as some interested parties had suspected, turned out to be one of the strongest recorded in decades in the Pacific North West. 

As they reached the doors to the bullpen, Blair glanced up and offered his bigger partner a small, rueful grin. Meeting his gaze, Jim responded with a soft and affectionate smile of his own, and murmured, “I know, Chief. I can hear Megan and Joel talking about us already and blowing our trumpets for us. Just accept it, OK? They want to be pleased for us, so the least we can do is let them enjoy the moment!” 

Blair nodded, his smile widening. “You got it, Jim. We did get the bastard after all, so he won’t be hurting any more little kids. Let’s do it!” and he pushed open the doors. 

As he watched Blair assume his usual cheery and gregarious persona, Jim stayed back for a moment, pondering on how good it was between them now. They were so attuned to each other’s thoughts and emotions these days that observers often noted their tacit exchanges and were convinced that there was more than empathy involved. However, their link wasn’t truly telepathic, and they still needed the spoken word to communicate to a certain extent, although they often finished off each other’s sentences and frequently spoke at the same instant, having already shared an idea or mental image. As Simon was wont to say, they were on the same wavelength now, and he freely admitted their interactions were more often than not a joy to behold, especially when they were working a crime scene. 

Just then, Megan broke off from hugging the stuffing out of his Guide, and turned to include Jim in her cheerful congratulations. However, he noted rather ruefully that whereas Blair got a kiss and hug, he received a none-too-gentle thump in the bicep as the irrepressible Aussie grinned up at him. 

“Bloody good work, Jimbo! You should both be proud of yourselves. You did a good job today nailing that sick nut-job of a murdering arsehole! Good on yer, mate!” 

Rubbing his arm pointedly, Jim chuckled wryly, “Thanks, Conner. I think! Let’s just hope the jury does their bit now and sends the bastard down for life, huh?” 

“I’m sure they will, Jimbo,” the attractive Inspector replied, her expression hardening for a moment. “One look at the evidence photos and they’ll be howling for his blood, and rightly so! Anyway,” she continued, brightening again, “are you and Sandy going to let us take you for a celebratory drink later? Joel, H and Rafe are up for it, and Simon too if he can get away in time. Several others have said they want to come also.” 

This time Jim’s smile was warm and appreciative as he replied, “Sounds like a plan, Megs. As long as Dr Sandburg there hasn’t arranged to do any extra-curricular tutoring tonight, I’m sure we’ll be there.” 

Overhearing their exchange, Blair moved unselfconsciously into his customary place at Jim’s side, grinning up at both taller cops as he answered for himself. 

“Thanks, Megs. I think that’s just what we need. And no, I don’t have to tutor tonight as Jim should know. It’s only twice a week, and since it’s entirely voluntary, I could get out of it anyway!” 

“That’s great, mates! Then we’ll see you tonight in Barney’s Bar, around 7.00 ish, all right? Now, I think our lord and master requires your presence,” she added with a smirk, nodding towards Simon Banks’ office. 

Sure enough, both men turned to see their captain’s frowning face peering around his door, a familiar bellow ringing out. “Ellison and Sandburg, my office, now!” 

Now grinning widely, the partners moved together as one towards their boss’ inner sanctum, taking the seats indicated as Simon moved over to his personal coffee machine. They both accepted his gruff invitation to enjoy a mug of his latest gourmet blend, knowing only too well that the surly exterior he habitually adopted disguised a caring and sympathetic character – one for whom they both had had cause to be very grateful indeed. Blair in particular had had a very hard time immediately after their full bonding, and Simon as much as anyone had done his best to ease his passage into his new life. 

Because the dramatic, sexual full bond had only been the start of it. Just because Blair had been forced to accept what he was didn’t mean to say that everything was plain sailing from thereon in. Both he and Jim had to adjust to their enhanced relationship, and Blair had to decide how he was going to prioritise his need and wants with the demands that being a fully bonded Guide required. As both he and Jim realised, his academic life would have to be put on indefinite hold while their partnership stabilised and strengthened. 

And with the help and support of Simon and his friends at MCU, Blair had found that it wasn’t such a hard sacrifice after all. The merry-go-round no longer beckoned as it once had, and he was now on the rollercoaster full-time, and for the most part, thoroughly enjoying it. True, depressing cases like the one they had just closed were very hard to bear, but the fact that they had succeeded in bringing such a low-life to justice compensated a little for the sleepless nights spent in each other’s arms. 

For he had moved into the loft the very next day after they cemented their relationship, despite knowing that there would be a whole lot of individual readjustments required. He had also tendered his resignation to Rainier within days, although he still intended to carry on with his extra studies since they were designed to help him with his new position at the PD. And that new position turned out to be surprisingly satisfying for both of them. Blair’s status had been upgraded to a permanent civilian consultant’s role, which, added to his existing role as official working full-time Guide meant that he had a half-decent paycheque to his name. And since he was close to finishing his additional courses, he expected to be upgraded again to a specialist Forensic Anthropologist’s position, which would mean that his expertise could be sought by other PDs. But only on condition that Jim accompany him on any external trips, because no way would Sentinel and Guide agree to be parted for any length of time. TPTB were forced to accept that fact seeing as they would benefit greatly from the kudos that having such a talented, home-grown partnership brought them. 

But this huge readjustment in his life hadn’t been easy on the young man, and they had both suffered from his wildly fluctuating emotions. It hadn’t been easy on Jim either, but he had done his utmost to be there for Blair, ready to comfort or support – or even remonstrate with – the moody young Guide if necessary, until he began to settle into his new role. Amazing make-up sex had helped enormously, as did the mutual understanding to be had from the bond, but they had also benefited from the support of friends both at the PD and the U, and now they were pretty much on an even keel. 

And Simon was truly gratified to see it. 

Handing over the mugs of fragrant coffee, he took his own and sat down opposite them, raising the steaming beverage in a toast. “Well, then. Here’s to getting that scumbag Warinski off the streets. Congratulations, both of you. Any day a serial killer is caught is a good day for all of us, especially when little kids are involved. How do you both feel?” and they knew that his enquiry was a genuine desire to understand, and offer help and support if needed. 

Smiling a little sadly, Blair answered first, glancing aside to include his partner in his reply. 

“To be honest, Captain, we’re both feeling a bit ambivalent about the whole deal. Yeah, we got him, but not before he managed to hurt another kid. I just wish I’d been a bit quicker off the mark when I read the forensic reports.” 

“And I’ve already said, Chief, that you did good. No one had connected the dots at all before you looked at the paperwork again, so you should be proud!” 

“Yeah, big guy, just like you should be proud of spotting those blood and skin cells everyone else had missed! I know, I know, OK? But I still want to do better--” 

“Enough already!” Simon broke in sternly. “Accept the fact that you both made MCU proud today. And yes, I shall be at Barney’s tonight to celebrate with you. 

“But I wanted to talk to you about something other than crime scenes and arrests. We’ve been so snowed-under with cases lately that we haven’t had a chance to really talk as friends rather than as captain to his people. What I want to know is how my best team are doing outside of policework. And no, I don’t need intimate details of your love-life either,” he added with a grin. 

“For instance, I need to know if you’re happy with your role as it stands, Blair, or is there something we can do to improve it? Are you still lamenting having to sever your ties with the U?” 

And Blair beamed at him, truly appreciating the older man’s concern, and happy to reassure him. 

“No, Simon, but thanks for asking. I know it sounds odd, considering all those years I dedicated to teaching and learning, but I think I’d already begun to pull away even before we finally completed the bond. I’d had a taste of a cop’s life in the PD, as well as my previous study experience with the Fire and Rescue Department, and it was so much more exciting than the one I’d been leading. I mean, yes, a career in academia is just as important in its own way, but I soon found out that I hated the behind-the-scenes back-biting and jealousy. 

“And it’s not like I’ve completely severed those ties, man. I’ve still got those courses to finish, although that should soon be done and dusted, and Eli has been pushing a few select students my way for private individual tutoring and small study groups on my own time, so I’m still getting to interact with the type of students I’ve always enjoyed. 

“So yes, it’s all good on that front, and I’m really getting into this consultancy work also. And hopefully getting better at the Guide stuff too,” and he grinned over at Jim, who smiled warmly back. 

“That you are, Chief. That you are,” Jim responded, his eyes glowing with approval and affection. 

“That’s good to know, Blair. Very good,” Simon replied. “But is it as good between you as it seems? I mean, I don’t want to appear voyeuristic in any way, but you have had your ups and downs over the past few months, and I only want to help if I can.” 

Glancing over at Jim, Blair raised a quizzical eyebrow, tacitly requesting Jim’s permission to continue to speak for them both. Receiving Jim’s nod of assent, he turned back to face Simon. 

“I know that, Simon, and I appreciate it. We both do. But all I can say is that we’re getting there. One of the biggest hurdles for us both is forgiveness. Not of each other as much as learning to forgive ourselves. Jim needs to forgive himself for the obstinacy which led to him going feral and attacking me in the first place, and I need to forgive myself for my complacency. For selfishly believing that I was safe and secure in my little ivory tower at Rainier, and not considering that there was a good reason for my empathic gift. There were outside influences and extenuating circumstances that affected both of us, but at the end of the day, everything happened as it should. 

“We both know and accept that now.” 

Simon gazed speculatively at him for long moments before nodding his head, a slow grin of approval lighting his face. “Thank you for your honesty Blair. . You too, Jim. And it’s good to know that you’re both doing as well as you appear to be to us outsiders. 

“Now, I believe you have reports to write, do you not?” he added briskly, with a deliberate return to his normal business-like attitude. 

Both Jim and Blair grinned at his words, knowing that their pragmatic boss had had enough emotional blood-letting for one day. Rising to their feet, they made their exit, chuckling as they did so. 

“On our way, Captain, sir!” Blair replied cheekily. 

“See you at Barney’s, sir,” added Jim as they left the office, and Simon’s voice followed them out. 

“That you will, my friends, that you will!”  


\----------------------------------  


**Later that night, the loft:**  


Smiling a little complacently to himself, Blair shifted slightly to snuggle up more closely to his Jim-sized security blanket. He was in his customary position, lying half on top of the bigger man, his head resting on the muscular chest and encircled by a powerful but gentle arm. He was warm, comfortable and smugly sated, and in that relaxed state just before sleep claimed him. He allowed his thoughts to roam lazily for a few moments, happy to recall the events of the evening, which caused him to smile even wider. 

They had spent a few companionable hours at Barney’s Bar, somewhat bashfully accepting the congratulations of their fellow MCU cops, far more of whom had arrived to share in the socialising than Jim at least had expected. But the fact remained that, as a fully bonded Sentinel now, he had mellowed dramatically in Blair’s company, and was now pretty much fully integrated in the MCU team on his own merits. 

However, after a while, both Sentinel and Guide felt the need to get back to the loft, both their minds on one thing, and that was to reaffirm their bond in the best way. And how wonderful that way had been. Because tonight Jim had insisted that Blair take him for the first time, and despite his initial nervousness, Blair had complied. And it had been wonderful. Transcendental even, for both of them, and Blair was still basking in the afterglow of euphoria. It was almost as if the final piece in the puzzle of their relationship had fallen into place, and not even the slightest flaw remained in their bond. Chuckling softly at the recollection, he nuzzled his face against the firm planes of his ‘Jim-pillow’, unsurprised when a sleepy voice rumbled beneath his ear and the arm holding tightened slightly to pull him even closer. 

“What’s up, babe? Can’t sleep?” 

“No, man. Well, yes, but not quite yet. I was just thinking, big guy. About us.” 

“And what about us, Chief?” Jim replied, his curiosity piqued despite his cosy lethargy. “Do you need anything to help you relax even more?” 

Chuckling harder, Blair shook his head, his wild curls tickling Jim’s sensitive skin. “Nah, not in that sense, man. I don’t think I’m up for another round, delicious though it was. 

“No, it was just an idle thought, but it amused me. Wanna hear?” 

“Sure, babe, why not?” his accommodating partner murmured, dropping a kiss on the curly crown. 

“Well, I was just thinking about that kid’s nursery rhyme. You know, the one about the horseshoe nail and how the battle was lost for want of it? I just put it into context with us, man. Only I changed the words a bit. ‘For want of a Guide, the Sentinel was lost’, etc. etc. 

“But we did better than the poem, didn’t we, Jim? Because you found the Guide, and we won the war!” 

And Jim hugged his willing partner close as he agreed warmly, “That we did, baby. That we did!”  


**THE END**  


For want of a nail the shoe was lost. For want of a shoe the horse was lost. For want of a horse the rider was lost. For want of a rider the battle was lost. For want of a battle the kingdom was lost. And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.


End file.
